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Kate, My god, you wonder where my hands have been? Are you accusing me of cheating or not? I donít know what to make of that and frankly it pisses me off. Iíve never so much as wanted to cheat on you let alone cheated, damn Kate where did all this mistrust come from?

Yes, I remember St. Kitts. Do you on the other hand remember that when we were there without the telephones and kids and all the íinterruptionsí that we had only been married for two years. We were still wrapped up in the newness of being us and that fades in every marriage, it always does. So donít pin the fact that weíve been married so long we donít play games in the sand with our toes anymore.

As for the cat, come on Kate, sheís puking all over the furniture and under the beds. Thatís not old, thatís sick and I donít have time to take her to the vet or clean up the vomit. But you can stay in your own delusional world about that too if you like. You want to know why we donít talk anymore? Why we donít sit in front of the fire and catch up? Could it be because youíre always consumed with work, always trying to stay a step ahead of whatever is going on and donít want to take the time away from that to spend time with me or the kids. You see that as frivolous and something you can get to tomorrow. Well youíve had your share of tomorrows, now youíre upset and miserable that we donít talk anymore today! You have no one but yourself to blame for that.

As for feeling cold and alone in a house full of people, come on, you chose to do that and you know it, youíre ever the martyr arenít you? Sacrificing everything for the good of the family, Iím so tired of you playing the martyr, no one asked you to stay at home with the kids for all those years, and no one asked you to go out and get a full time job. I never expected you to keep up with all the housework when you went back to your job, I felt Iíve always done my part when it comes to that and the kids. Or at least you never seemed to mind until you found all the Ďfreedomí in your job. And how the hell did that make you feel like you lost your security in our relationship. Iím still providing for this family, the only thing that has changed is YOU and YOUR job and YOUR priorities. I sound pissed donít I? Well thatís because I am, some of the things youíre blaming me for or have issue with are of your own doing and because youíre singling yourself out. Itís almost as if you feed on this kind of situation, like you need the drama in your life so you can feel high and mighty when you take the high road. Itís like a Ďpoor Kateí syndrome.

This is ridiculous, writing all this down. All weíre doing is fighting on paper, some help this is. I donít care what we do for supper, Iíll pick Parker up either way. I want some time out of this house, so Iíll drop him off and hang around until the game is over. Donít forget those movies the kids rented over the weekend are due back today and you said you would drop them off on your way to run some errands. Youíre not the only one hunting, Elliot



Tuesday,

Elliot,

Why do we always do this? I'm always the martyr and you are always the saint. When you are not here with me...and by "here" I mean your mind, your body, your life, then it is only natural to wonder where all those parts are! If that makes me nonresponsive, well, part of the fault has to be yours because you used to be "here" and all your parts were regularly with all my parts. I miss that.

Yes, I remember St. Kitts too, and it makes me cry to think about it. I never thought we'd lose the urge to play games in the sand.

I remember thinking after Parker and Grace were born that I had to work like a dog to get back into shape. I was planning on a revisit to St. Kitts. Guess we never got there. Guess I never got completely back into shape either.

Elliot, in case you hadn't noticed, the cat hasn't been here since yesterday afternoon when you picked up Parker. Since we are not supposed to talk about "issues" except in writing, I waited until this morning to tell you here. The cat went to sleep and didn't wake up. I took her to Dr. Jacobsen, and he said she died of just being old and worn out, like I feel now. There won't be any more vomit to clean up.

I am surprising myself by really looking at what you write (while I'm being pissed at every word). You throw work in my face, and that you are the provider, but you have convenient selective memory. You know we agreed that I would go back to work full time so that we wouldn't have to worry about Parker and Grace having the ability to go to any college they want to when the time comes. That doesn't make me a bad mother, or you a bad provider. It's just the way it is. People make time for what they want to make time for, and maybe you are right. I have withdrawn into myself because it was easier than arguing. But you have made yourself scarce for the same reason.

You can be pissed all you want, so long as you really look at what I am saying and feeling. I'm finding it strangely freeing to talk to you this way. I guess those martyr's chains I carry around with me seem a tad lighter since we are least not screaming.

Parker said you had a great time at the arcade after the game. I invited the Smithson's over for a barbeque tonight. Do you mind starting the coals? We owe them a dinner. I have to go get the cat buried now, then maybe we can tell the kids and it won't be too traumatic on them. I wonder if there's still a cat heaven? There was when I was Grace's age.

Talk to you later, Kate

P.S. I found the white licorice drops by my computer after you went to bed last night. That was nice.




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Comments

The following comments are for "The Letters, Tuesday"
by KateandElliot

letters
This is sorta painful to read. Elliot's part reminds me very much of my own exing-husband and it makes me want to strangle him (lol, just kidding, sorta), and it seems Kate is having to defend herself alot. Do you guys, by any chance, have some experience in rocky relationships, it seems you have it down pretty good.
You're doing a good job, evoking emotion, whatever it may be, is the signature of good writing. Congratulations. I look forward to tomorrow.

( Posted by: mzjen1 [Member] On: August 19, 2004 )

The Letters Part II
This is a creative endeavor involving two talented writers. I for one am interested in seeing where these letters will lead. I hope that the tone of some of the comments here will be taken down a notch or two, and that the writers will just do their thing, and not engage the critics in any more give and take. Thank you Jessica and Claire, keep it up.

WRITE ON! I'm looking forward to Wednesday.

( Posted by: Odysseus [Member] On: August 20, 2004 )

Hmmmm...
First was Disbelief, Now Anger, let me see is Resentment next?...

Guess we will have to wait for Wednesday Letters...

Personally, I find the idea of this special, uhhh, special...

( Posted by: daprdan [Member] On: August 20, 2004 )

Letters...
My heart bleeds for these two, though I know they don't truly exist. I want to know what can happen next...I can see a beauty, no matter the ultimate resolution. The intense realism of these letters really astound me. My respect for each of you as writers and, even, as people, is increasing exponentially through every sentence, through every syllable. Thank you, again.

William

( Posted by: the Co.konspirator [Member] On: August 20, 2004 )

Wow
Odysseus looks on in disbelief as he watches the Co.konspirator try to kiss the butt cheeks of both talented ladies.

( Posted by: Odysseus [Member] On: August 20, 2004 )

Tuesdays letters
As the marriage turns...I liked these two letters but I don't think that they should talk about errands so much. They should mostly stick to their relationship. Sometime, their therapist should tell them to write down the positive qualities of the other person. I want to see what they loved about each other in the beginning. Keep em coming...

( Posted by: arc [Member] On: August 20, 2004 )

Part II, Wednesday
Wow! This is like a soap opera on paper. I can't wait to see what happens next. I'm hooked!

( Posted by: Everybodyelsesgirl [Member] On: August 20, 2004 )

Such eloquence, Odysseus...
LOL, there was no kissing of butt cheeks involved with this. Merely expressing my favor of the piece. It's only flattery if it's untrue.

William

( Posted by: the Co.konspirator [Member] On: August 20, 2004 )

Wednesday!!
I'm fiending for Wednesday!!

( Posted by: mzjen1 [Member] On: August 20, 2004 )

The Letters...
I liked these two better than the first two. They got more involved. There is definately more depth to them in terms of characterisation and topic. I do think we need to see more work on the gender seperation on this, the guy sounds a bit like a therapist on valium.

Alex :-)

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: August 23, 2004 )





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