I love this day
by F. J. DUBS (Member) - published: August 15, 2004
Word Count: 141 Word Bytes: 772 Viewed: 825 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by F. J. DUBS

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I love this day that I have
I live it like it's the last
for I am living on borrowed time
because of things in my past
I've seen the horrors of previous wars
I was involved in a few
I almost died in one of them
and it changed my point of view
I have seen the hate in others eyes
and have seen what it can do
the prejudice of our fellow man
and what it has put us through
I have had the time to reflect
on how precious is each day
for it can end at any time
and it can end in many ways
so love each day you are on this earth
and live it like its the last
treat each person with dignity and with love
You will be remembered when you've past

------
Frankie J. Dubs

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Comments

The following comments are for "I love this day"
by F. J. DUBS

I Love thid Day
Frank,

I do not know how I have missed you poetry, but I have now been back and put that right. I thoroughly enjoy it, and can see from your writings the lessons you are trying to share with us all. I admire for for it and am glad I have not endured your experiences.

I hope you do not mind but I have reproduced your poem below, in the format I find easiest to understand and read, four line stanzas. Most of your poetry seems to divide perfectly this way and I sometimes can not really enjoy a piece unless it is handed to me in small pieces on a plate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love this day that I have,
I live it like it's the last.
For I am living on borrowed time,
because of things in my past.

I've seen the horrors of previous wars,
I was involved in a few.
I almost died in one of them,
And it changed my point of view.

I have seen the hate in others eyes,
And have seen what it can do.
The prejudice of our fellow man,
And what it has put us through.

I have had the time to reflect,
On how precious is each day.
For it can end at any time,
And it can end in many ways.

So love each day you are on this earth,
And live it like its the last.
Treat each person with dignity and with love,
You will be remembered when you've past.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you once again for some very interesting reads,

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: August 16, 2004 )

divided stanzas
I think I agree with Ivor here; I do think it would run better if you broke it into stanzas. But that is really just a personal preference, so don't go changing that on my say-so. :)

the writing has a very poignant tone to it; the intonation is just right to give it a wistful, sad feeling, that works well with the message you're conveying.

But there were several places where it was tricky to get the right intonation on first reading; I had to shift the emphasis on words from where I would place it naturally, in order to get the flow of the poem to work. (It is probably a poem that will work best when read aloud).

The last few lines in particular I stumbled over when I read them - the line ending "dignity and love" just seemed to have a syllable or two too many.

But overall, good poem, good rhyming, and a very strong and clear message.

Thank you :-)

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: August 17, 2004 )

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