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the shade
of dark birds rest
within your eyes, resigned
my words ache to say I love you
but donít


"I place these moments in my pocket
to be pulled
at the rush of noon,
the crush of three...
when tears come,
when words must learn to be enough..." MKL

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The following comments are for "Failings ~A Cinquain~"
by Serenem

I liked this very much...
I am trying to grasp the concept. I enjoyed this one and your others.
I redid my huntress as a cinquain and would like to ask you to take a gander at it and see what you think about how i did.

( Posted by: CJHerlihy [Member] On: August 21, 2004 )

blast melinda
I meant to give you ten, then tried to add one but it didn't work. This is wonderful, explain the form to this dunderhead and I'll try it myself. huni.

I like the shade of dark birds in the eyes.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: August 21, 2004 )

Hello, CJ, Huni ~failings
Cj, Thank You very much. I'm enjoying the form. I'm so glad you are trying it! I look for your huntress cinquain. I've been away for a few days, so I missed it...

Huni, Thanks! I am so pleased that you liked it. I'll come back with the explanation of the form, hold on!


( Posted by: Serenem [Member] On: August 22, 2004 )

Huni, the cinquain
Huni, here is a brief explanation of the cinquain and a link to a place which describes it more completetly.

The cinquain was created by a woman, around the turn of the last century, (1900) named Adelaide Crapsey. She loved the haiku form and based the cinquain on it, but with an additional twist.

A cinquain is five lines,

L1 - 2 syllables
L2 - 4 syllables
L3 - 6 syllables
L4 - 8 syllables
L5 - 2 syllables

Some more about it and some samples can be found at this link:


( Posted by: Serenem [Member] On: August 22, 2004 )

Melinda and bob
Thank-you both for taking time and sharing knowledge. I will give this a try. Looks like it could be fun. Can it be any subject or is it specific to say nature like Haiku for example? huni.

( Posted by: huni [Member] On: August 23, 2004 )

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