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I am starving for life but on my plate remains the giant slice of bullshit that haunts the menu in the restaurant of life. But I am in no position to complain nor do I posses the ability to make things change. Contemporary nothingness founded on contempt, from this bullshit life I wish I were exempt. Whether or not I am headed the right way, I need assurance because not all organisms are created with insurance. A lizard can always regrow it’s tail but what options do I have should I fail? And for what should I maintain persistence in this tedious existence? And if I had the balls to disregard my flaws, would it get me closer to god? If I do not fail or succumb, will there be another person for me to become? Would I love that person or am I forever bound by darkness? what good is evolution if there are no improvements to look forward to? The silence that is screaming in my head has got me wishing I were dead and the typical structures of modern day life make me want to explode
-to take the whole world with me cause it does not deserve a world without me
-to become nothing, as the emptiness inside myself
or should I implode? Curl into a little ball and shrivel away? Fall apart as I turn into dust from a pile of hate, paranoia and lust. What good is love when it is so hard to trust? What good are machines if they will only rust? We can’t all change our oil every 2,000 miles. We are a junkyard of useless scrap-metal

------
-RanE-
DEATH IS OUR ONLY SALVATION


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The following comments are for "* "junkyard of useless scrap metal""
by viewsocruel

junkyaard.
I think restaurant of life is an interesting idea with a lot of potential, but you don't do it justice here. It is a poem in itself.

The thing about this poem that I don't like is that everything is spelled out for the reader, such as the first and last line. This could be much more powerful if you alluded to the fact that "we are a junkyard of useless scrap metal" through the use of imagery that illustrates your point, rather than simply stating it as you've done here. Say things without actually saying them, in other words.

Other than that, the thoughts expressed here are all over the place which I didn't really like, but I assume was the point; junkyards usually are a mess of different objects.

There is potential here, it just needs a little focus.

( Posted by: die_daily [Member] On: August 19, 2004 )

Uh Oh!
Watch out D D, and duck, this writer doesn't accept constructive criticism too well.

( Posted by: Odysseus [Member] On: August 20, 2004 )

die_daily
i understand what you mean cause when i write, it's not something i work on for-30 minutes sometimes. my point is that i just write things as they come to me or i'll get an idea and try to work with it, i have never reeally tried to abide by any structure, i barely even like to rhyme. i have titles that sometimes have nothing to do with the title but i understand what you mean.

( Posted by: viewsocruel [Member] On: August 20, 2004 )

Namaste
thanx. i like the way you spaced everything, that does look better. i'll probably use it until i get around to revising it myself.

( Posted by: viewsocruel [Member] On: August 20, 2004 )





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