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My first poem posted here in Lit.Org:

I Need Nothing

I need nothing
When you’re gone
But the memory of that morning
The daylight was chasing us.

Now I have no journey
That I care to make
But the memory of that moment
We were kissing in the dark.

I need no shortcut
To the journey back
That shadowed dawn.
Not to run forward yet,
Just leave me hanging
In the air.

And here's the very first comment I got not for the poem above but to my other poem titled 'I Wonder'.

"Direct. Honest. Marred by a couple of clumsy lines (7 and 9)."
( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: May 7, 2004 )

I wonder where Viper is right now?

And then followed by Marlyn's comment, this time for the poem above:

"Great imagery. It has a nice natural feel and flow... like breathing. Brought back some nice memories."
( Posted by: MaxiiJ [Member] On: May 8, 2004 )

I wonder too where Marlyn/Maxiij is right now?

Maxiij and Viper9 are very good poets and I look up on them. Does anyone still remember these two good writers?



------
*************************************
crystal face I kiss
tongue tastes like sweet cold rain
I fall into pond




Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Nostalgia and My 50th Post"
by peterpaulino

Tigers and writers
Hey peter. I remember Viper definately, and Maxiij rings a bell but i can't place the name with their work. I think writers are a bit like tigers. Sometimes they like to go off in new directions on their own. Other times they enter into new relationships and time for writing is limited. I liked this first poem of yours. With poetry, the rules of English are much more flexible and you have a natural flow going with a unique voice. I wounldn't change a thing here. cheers mick

( Posted by: smithy [Member] On: August 14, 2004 )

Remember Viper
but not sure about Max. Is it you on the Zebidee Jones website? I'm on there under the handle PaulBirkin (my real name)
Take care
Paul the Ogg

( Posted by: ogg [Member] On: August 14, 2004 )

premonition
yeah you you're right, repitition sucks ass. but when i looked at your versiopn of my poem i was like "well if you put it that way, i can do so much more to it" thanks for opening that little bridge for me. for some reasonm i thought it was cool when i first did it. i liked the way it was short and it pretty much all started the same. i don't know when i may add any changes though. i will inform you though. thanks.

( Posted by: viewsocruel [Member] On: August 14, 2004 )

MIck,Ogg, View...
Mick, thank you very much. It's just that I enjoyed writing blogs these days. They are very quick and your own blogs inspired me to write some (MzJen's blogs too, I always look for hers).

Ogg, yes I wandered around and my feet took me to Zebideejones. I will check out your name and works over there, but my real home to tell you honestly, is here in Lit.Org. I hope you have ways of contacting Viper,he's such a very good poet. Thank you.

View,I have a response to you in your page. I hope you read this short blog. i featured here my first poem here in Lit,something that is still special to me. Thank you.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: August 16, 2004 )

Peter's Blog
Hey Peter! The good ole days, (well they keep getting better) I remember when we were both new here. Loved all of your comments, now you are "the man." Maxi comes and goes, I see she just commented on your other piece, very good I might add, and Viper, he is a trip, he pops in a few weeks at a time. You'll see him around. Love having you here. Happy "50"!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: August 17, 2004 )

Renae
I hope you'll find this. Thank you and you are my first friend here in Lit.Org. I value that very much and I am glad that you are always around.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: August 18, 2004 )





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