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1. Has anyone of you ever taken a photograph of a scene, that when it's been developed you see something else that's there but somehow hidden and couldn't be found right away in just one looking?

2. Has anyone of you ever written a haiku (or two) about graveyards, on one boring weekend, fancied on squeezing them in in one longer poem, come Monday you posted them here in Lit.Org, other authors commented on it and found not your hidden haiku but something else, another meaning which you weren't really aware was there?

Okay, for question number one, I couldn't present an example and I wrote that as just my props. But for number two... take a look at this:

Looking Forward

[i]
Hazy afternoon
Swallows, like spirits risen
Stirred in the branches.[/i]

...I walk alone
In these mortal fields.
The sun’s tenderness
Covers my head;
The cold in my heart
Is no more, nowhere
Inside my chest.
The crimson
Of the Auguste Renoir
Is brighter.
I know
Their glorious bloom
Will soon be gone,
Dead…
In a few days
Will be wilted,
Like the love
I promised to have and to hold…

I kneel down,
I tear for one last time…

[i]
A pale granite plinth…
Kissed by the drooping cedars,
Silent in the park.[/i]

And I arise!
Looking forward
To see her tonight.

--end of poem--

You will notice that I even tried to italicize my two haiku here so as not to make the find difficult, obviously I failed. I still have to review the commands in making effects when posting;D.

Lucie (Windchime) commented and I thought about challenging her to solve the mystery, and here... read her response:

"What two things could possibly be hidden here? One of them could be that he plans to dream about her, as he looks "forward/To see her tonight". The hidden thing could be that this person is an adept of conscious dreaming, maybe?"

I was quite surprised, I hoped she'll right away find my haiku but she saw something else that also makes sense in my poem. Don't you think so?

Then there's this other one. My Ma Bea (Beatrice Boyle) came forward, too. And knowing her, she's like Agatha Christie she couldn't let mysteries unsolved. Look what she's found:

"Now for the mystery! I see two possiblilites here:

#1 - He is contemplating Suicide...the "red" of the Renoir and his cold heart could be the blood as a result of a knife thrust to his heart and he is looking forward to "seeing" her tonight! OR:

#2 - He has found somone else and is letting go of his grief in a final farewell...and is looking forward to seeing his "new" love tonight.

How far off base am I?"

I hated to admit to her that she's 'very far off base', because you know what we were looking for here but two haiku! So I just said her number two was very correct and was what I meant in the poem. But as I kept on thinking more about what she said, I realized it did make sense, too! Don't you think so?

Well, even if I were a bit frustrated nobody found my two hidden "graveyard haiku" I learned something else about poetry.

Still, I hope, someone will come forward and point out the two haiku here...

(sigh) ;-(





------
*************************************
crystal face I kiss
tongue tastes like sweet cold rain
I fall into pond




Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "My Little Game Turned Death!"
by peterpaulino

The Renoir
In addition: the Auguste Renoir was supposed to be pink, I just couldn't bear using 'pink' instead of crimson, thus, my little deviation from truth. So, I understood why Ma Bea should be having that analysis mentioning knives and blood! LOL

Anyways, I thank everybody who commented on that piece: Tinalouise, Mick (Smithy), Lucie (Windchime), and Ma Bea (Beatrice Boyle).

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: August 11, 2004 )

peterpaulino
I am sorry, thought I'd still have a chance to edit my blog, didn't know it's that fast going to the front page, gosh!

Notice also that I was trying to make a positive poem here, never knew I also created the opposite: Death.

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: August 11, 2004 )

LOL Lucie
hahahahaha! I am very sorry! I just got so excited writing my first blog. I realised I haven't written any, MzJen's blog inspired me to write one today, never thought it will be that fast to appear in the roster. But I know, given one more day and you'll be able to solve the mystery!

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: August 11, 2004 )

plinth
only criticism, and i want to say it very softly because who am i - shh the word "the". lovely haiku, excellent (both). shhh

( Posted by: mercer102 [Member] On: August 11, 2004 )

Mercer-Plinth
LOL. (sorry, I laughed out loud...ssh)

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: August 11, 2004 )

first interpretations
Hey Peter.
My first read through I thought it was a walk in the park, reminscing. That's where I went, but I wasn't sure about plinth so I looked it up and then there was a comment about graveyards so then I knew and when I reread it, I went on a different journey and saw it from the greiving lover's perspective. It is open to interpretation methinks. Nothing unexpected in any photos though, except thumbs and red eyes. mick

( Posted by: smithy [Member] On: August 12, 2004 )





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