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Weeping willow tree,
Bent down to offer its cries,
Mourning for lost lives.


Please review.


The following comments are for "Weeping Willow Tree"
by Cryptic Rapture

willow, cryptic
First of all, i'm very new at Haiku, but I really enjoyed this. It brings about the confluence of nature and humanity. It seems well thought out, and well done. Thank you for sharing.

( Posted by: MzJen1 [Member] On: August 11, 2004 )

Huni, Haiku Queen!!!
i'm not sure that haiku is traditionally supposed to have punctuation. Hmmm...let's ask Huni...HUNI!!!! Are you out there?

( Posted by: MzJen1 [Member] On: August 11, 2004 )

weeping willow

This has very nice imagery and makes for an enjoyable read.
It is off from haiku in form and, yes, puntuation is not used in haiku except for apostrophes and, occasionally, question marks and exclamation points. Capital letters are not used in haiku, either...

Still, it is a nice, pretty read.



( Posted by: Serenem [Member] On: August 11, 2004 )

Crying Haiku! Jen, Melinda, Cryptic
Melinda, well said, although I believe that starting the Haiku with a capital is acceptable. I'm staring to do some with less syllables. I wonder what you'd think of them. For me they come naturally that way and then I have to edit to get the required amount, but they sometimes lose the feel I originally had. Next time I'll submit both ways, let me know what you think eh? huni.

Jen, I love how keen you are! You have me wanting to write some more on my break next week. Expect lots of snow and ice one's.

Sorry cryptic, I jumped in on your poem. This IS a lovely image. The main thing that stands out for me as non Haiku is that you impute feeling and emotion. Very acceptable in poetry but in Haiku it is not done. This is implied at the least, if ever done. The reader must have their own space with in your Haiku to feel what ever meaning they find in it. If it's done well, a whole range of feelings and a few levels of meaning may be taken from those three lines. Amazing isn't it! regards to all, huni.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: August 11, 2004 )

Thanks for the pointing out my mistakes.. I guess I really wasn't paying attention when I typed this.. I should've known you didn't use punctuation..
thank you for commenting.. I really didn't expect this many comments..

( Posted by: Cryptic Rapture [Member] On: August 11, 2004 )

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