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"How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?" - Albert Einstein
Hello my love - is that you? I cant see, my eyes are gone. I hope you're not mad that i broke in, are you? I just wanted to see you again after all that time. I know the big men in suits say im not allowed, but hell, i know you wouldnt mind. Remember all those good times we shared? Yeah, i know you trust me enough to let me not do what the big men say. I know you wont tell.
Where are you? I heard you have a new boyfriend, but i know that's not true. I know you wouldnt do that to me. I know I made you mad sometimes but i forgive you for chucking me out like you did.
Hell its been what, 4 months now? I think im ready to take you back - i think i forgive you for saying you didnt want me anymore. I know you didnt mean it.
My arms are sore. Whats this around my wrists? Have they put my special bracelets on again, to calm me down? They're not very comfortable. Where are you?
What are these things in my gouged-out eyes? They feel like hooks - are they hooks?
Its a good job the big men in suits cant see me now - they wanted me to leave the country. They said your new boyfriend would hurt me if he saw me. Ha ha, but you dont have a new boyfriend! I told them! You wouldnt! Not to me! If they could see me now they'd be very angry.
Why cant i move my legs from being pressed against my chest?
I think you need to get exterminators around, my love. I can smell decay. I can hear flies buzzing around me, attatching themselves to my face. I cant swat them, or scare them to move! I think you need a plumber, too, because it feels like there's been a flood.
Where are you? I wish i knew what time it was, then id know what you'd be doing. I used to watch you through the window, you see - nothing perverted, i just wanted to make sure you were safe, what with the gruesome murders that have been happening, that is all. Have you heard about that man? They say he ties his victims up and leaves them to die underground, does horrible, gruesome things to them. And im sorry that i killed your cat - i just knew that if i removed him you'd want to love me again, for me to make things better for you. I just needed to make you realise, that is all! Then i could protect you even better!
Im sure glad you love me again. That must be why you're keeping me here, so that i cant be seen by the nasty big men in suits. They'd take me away if they did, then we would never be together again. Im so happy, i love you!
I saw a man today, while i was breaking into your house to check you were ok. I think he must have gotten into the wrong building because he was undressed and naked like it was his own bedroom. He was very angry to see me, but that was when you came into the room and saw me. You were naked too, had you showered? I remember you shouting - perhaps telling him to get out and cover his eyes? - but i dont remember what happened next. I just remember screaming, and pain.
Im going to have to rest soon. I feel dizzy and weak, i must have forgotten to eat this morning. My head and face feels wet and sticky, did i cut myself? The fishhooks are really starting to hurt now, my love - can i take them out yet?
I know you're here, i can feel you next to me. I recognise the softness of your skin, leaning close to mine. You feel wet and sticky too - did i bleed on you? I guess you're asleep, since you havnt moved.
Im happy you tied us together and put my special bracelets on, and im glad the nasty man from your house has gone. We can be together forever, now.
Goodnight, my love.
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Fetish - Part Six
