If I could be...
by nae411 (Moderator) - published: August 5, 2004
Word Count: 118 Word Bytes: 726 Viewed: 387 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by nae411

(2 votes)

Rating	Rated by

8	False Dawn

10	windchime

You must login to vote

If I could be yours for just one month,
I'd let you see the secret smiles that
you have placed upon my face.

If I could be your girl for just one week,
I'd wrap your beautiful words around
my heart and let you disappear within my world.

If I could be your woman for just one day,
I'd lead you places only dreams can take you
and let your mind run free.

If I could be your love for just one hour
I'd release my body from all inhibitions and
be yours in every way.

If I could be your friend for just one moment,
I'd hold your hand, and wish again,
for another unending day...

------
I am on a journey. Looking for Me. Everyday I get a little closer. The more time goes by the more I realize I'm always changing. This journey could take forever... Renae L. Soler

Related Items

Faking It

Gone Wrong

Mocha

More by nae411 »

Comments

The following comments are for "If I could be..."
by nae411

If I could be...
Nae...this is wonderful...I love the way you used the measurements of time, and along with them, went from girl to woman to love to friend...very well done, beautifully written. I may have songs on the brain today, but I think this would make a beautiful lyric...

Claire

( Posted by: clairesbest [Member] On: August 5, 2004 )

I Think...
That nearly every guy would want to be him...

That kind of devotion is rare today...

Hope he appreciates it...

Great Write...

( Posted by: daprdan [Member] On: August 5, 2004 )

Renae-If I Could Be
You have a wonderful mind Renae, and it's a bliss to read you. I like the idea of shifting from what you can give depending on the measurement of time. I agree with Claire, this one needed to be turned into a song. And Claire, who will be the artist-singer? I have one suggestion: Faith Hill! Wouldn't this be lovely? I like her version of If I'm Not In Love, so she must sing this. Renae, please agree with me on this one.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: August 6, 2004 )

Claire/Dan/Peter
Hey Guys/Gal,

Thank you for your comment. Hmm I hadn't thought of it as a lyric, but hey Claire maybe you could turn it in to a song, you can be the next Shania? We will all be there to support you. Peter I love Faith Hill, but I think Claire would be better!

Dan,
You are such a sweetheart, I love reading your comments. You must be everybody's best friend. Thank you, I hope you are right!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Moderator] On: August 6, 2004 )

could be Nae
This one was an immediate winner with me. I'm always thinking on how time gets parcelled. You, on the other hand, are apportioning it. And you give your reader such freedom, entering this. It's almost as if the possibilities, here, are five to the fifth power (yours for just one moment, your woman for just one week, etc. etc.) I absolutely love this!

( Posted by: windchime [Member] On: August 6, 2004 )

Nae could...
I loved this before I read it as my eyes caught the upcoming comparison of timeframes against wishes/promises. This was a thrill with each new revelation Nae. Spectacular you at your shiny best. Namaste

( Posted by: tinalouise [Member] On: August 6, 2004 )

Lucie & Tina
Lucie and Tina,

Thank you so much for your comments. I think I love reading your comments as much as I love to write. You are both wonderful! Namaste

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Moderator] On: August 6, 2004 )

If I could be...
This gives me the feeling of secret love for someone. The idea that this may be unrequited is both exhilerating and sad! Beautiful...How could it be unrequited for such a cutie though?

( Posted by: arc [Member] On: August 8, 2004 )

Yep!
Everyone said what could be said Nae. I can only agree and say, I too love how you bring the different patterns of relating into single time frames. Wonderful. huni.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: August 9, 2004 )

Arc/Huni
Arc thank you, "unrequited for such a cutie" you are too funny, look who's talking, we could take your picture and make you a star!

Huni, Thank you my big sister! Love hearing from you!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Moderator] On: August 9, 2004 )

The Wonderful World of If
If we could be recognised and respected for our genius, we would surely rule the world.

Nice poem, said exactly what it wanted to say and in a very honest way.

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: August 9, 2004 )

Renae
Renae,

Thank you for writing this poem for me, but I am already commited to the girl of my dreams. But as a temptress you take some beating!

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: August 12, 2004 )

Ivor/False Dawn
False Dawn, Thank you I am trying to say what I want to say in the most honest way possible, I appreciate you noticing.

Shucks Ivor,
I thought I could lead you this way, (lol) It is not the same around here without you. Welcome Home!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Moderator] On: August 12, 2004 )

se me paro
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJEyuatZqbE

( Posted by: desvelado [Member] On: May 21, 2008 )

Desvelado
You are such a freaking trip! I cracked up with that song!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Moderator] On: May 21, 2008 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Login:
Password:

Related Sites:

Advertising
*Internet Advertising
*Online Advertising
*Dominios
*Car Accident Attorney Los Angeles