Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
8

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
8williamhill

You must login to vote

Can you feel the soft warm feeling, inside as you embrace
That special something deep inside, that rushes to your face
Maybe it just brightens your soul, or whispers in your ear
This man loves you more than you know, listen closely my dear
Your lips and his tenderly touch, engulfing your desire
The cool wetness of this embrace, will quickly turn to fire
His strong arms surround you tightly, as spirits search for more
This closeness quickens beating hearts, like the sea covers shore
As thoughts of him race thru your mind, the two of you are freed
Dreams of life you'll live together, he'll fill your every need


~~~~~~

This is the first in the series of, "Love's Fire"...

------
Daniel Lloyd Kennedy


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "A Fire Begins (1)"
by daprdan

Rhythm
The rhythm of this poem is lovely, there is only one line that I stumbled over keeping with the same timing: "This closeness quickens beating hearts, like the sea covers shore"
perhaps something along the lines of "This closeness quickens beating hearts, likened sea covered shore"
I enjoy the way you speak as a third party, and the impersonal tone of the piece, nicely done and again, thank you for sharing.

( Posted by: De`esse [Member] On: August 3, 2004 )

Dan
I like things like this, love unspoken and yet felt...

Well Dan, done... hoppws Well done, Dan!

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: August 4, 2004 )

Thank You All...
De` esse, (French?) this piece was not third person at first, but I wanted to turn it into a three or four part poem... I have the second about half way done... with ideas for the third... When in the first person they sounded too personal...

Claire, again you nailed it... I wrote this as if whispering in her ear with all the intentions you could have imagined... Again I turned it into third person (for obvious reasons, and removed some parts of it as well, sorry, it was a little too intimate/explicit)...

Peter, Guilty as charged, hopelessly a romantic...

Lucie, I'm glad you seen the need for each soul to feel free and needed... And especially the hearts beating passion over and over like the waves of the ocean, while the last part of the last line "he'll fill your every need" is meant to imply his devotion to her...

Once again thank you all for stopping by and commenting, I truly enjoy all comments...

More INput...

( Posted by: daprdan [Member] On: August 4, 2004 )

A Fire Begins
Bravo Dan, Bravo.

Beautiful, Love the comments as well.

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: September 6, 2004 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: