Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
10

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
10Huni

You must login to vote

Breakfast:
I watch her amused
as she chomps on fruit loops in
milk and scatter crumbs

Lunch
A jolly salad
dressed in honey and mustard
hot croutons on top

Snacks:
A slice of melon
red and juicy from the fridge
She spits all the seeds

Supper:
Fish fillet and garlic
broccoli in oyster sauce
oolong tea fills a cup

After supper:
The moon winks when she
swallows cold beer and sushi
the cicadas sing



Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Dining with Shakti"
by Shakti

Only 5 meals?
This is so cute that it seems to overlook other snacks Shakti must have had-- an outing to a bar, a refreshing drink -- drinking cola and fighting the bubbles, nothing happened at the water cooler (chewing gum)? etc etc

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: August 3, 2004 )

mmm yummy!
This is a lovely string of haiku, gorgeously put together and they read well, standing alone as well as complementing one another. The only line i would make any changes to 'milk and scatter crumbs' should that be 'milk and scatters crumbs'?? Just a query. Gorgeous piece - it makes my mouth water and long for lunch!

( Posted by: De`esse [Member] On: August 3, 2004 )

Shakti
I know they're all delicious and I love eating, except for 'oolong', is this a Filipino native dish? If it were, I should know. ;D Well done, I saw londongrey's hosting a haiku thread, why don't you check that out? ;)

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: August 4, 2004 )

hello
De'esse, yes its a minute typo error... it should be scatters crumbs since "she" is the subject. as always, thanks for the generous comments. Peter, oolong is a japanese or maybe chinese tea but it is my favorite tea. It is just the right finish to a meal of fish fillet and broccoli. enjoy the rest of the day guys!

( Posted by: shakti [Member] On: August 5, 2004 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: