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7.66

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8Myth
7MzJen1
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You wonder why life is so cruel,
You decide this is the end,
Your head is full of anger,
Your mind twists and bends.

You are ready to do it,
The knife is in place,
You realize this will be it,
You heart quickens its pace.
You want to tell your parents,
You'll miss them so,
It's not their fault,
You want to go.

You want to be in a better place,
Somewhere free of hate,
You long for the sight,
Of the big pearly gates.
You want to ask God,
Why life is so wrong,
The actions you've suffered,
Where has the love gone?

But before you land the knife,
In that one fatal strike,
You start to ponder,
Maybe there's more to this life,
You have only been living,
For a small number of years,
But you've already given up,
Because you shed some tears.

You think of the future,
Things you want to do,
Maybe you'll get married,
Maybe just live life through.
The happiness that may come,
Later in your life,
Might just be the reason,
Not to lunge the knife.

All your friends and family,
And the support they've given you,
You realize how sad they may be,
If you did what you wanted to do,
You have something to live for,
A reason to exist,
The many wonders of life,
The delights you might miss.

You drop the knife,
It clatters on the floor,
You get up, wipe away your tears,
You unlock the door.
You're happy you've discovered,
All the reasons to live,
Joy, wonder, happiness,
All that life has to give.

You open the curtains,
Gaze at the world outside,
All the places to be,
It's not hard to decide,
You're full of new life,
No longer sad,
You take a breath and realize,
Life isn't that bad.

------
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd

-Alexander Pope, Eloisa to Abelard


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Comments

The following comments are for "Life Isn't That Bad"
by EndlessEcho

Life Isn't That Bad
I have to admit that I don't much care for poems that begin with a death wish. I can't say I've never written them, but they are not my favorite because it seems so much to say "Somebody save me!", where I feel that our only true hope of being saved comes from ourselves. I do like that the table turned, of course, and it seems that the subject of the poem recognizes the folly of an act such as suicide:

You have only been living,
For a small number of years,
But you've already given up,
Because you shed some tears.

One line in this poem kind of grated to me, it just didn't feel right:

Not to lunge the knife.

Perhaps when I have a bit more experience in critiquing i can say why, but for now, i think it is because it gives an action to the knife that rightfully belongs to the writer.
Over all, i rate this poem a 7. It has good technical merit, I like they rhythym, and I like the change, the 'evolution', so to speak, from despair to hope. I look forward to reading more of your work, you have alot of promise. :0)

( Posted by: MzJen1 [Member] On: July 27, 2004 )

ode to life
sleepy wakefullness
how easy to forget
all but love

( Posted by: paxelius [Member] On: July 27, 2004 )





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