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I'm in a fairly positive mood today. My life has been rather odd lately. It's been something like being nailed up on a cross and then taken down at the last minute. I had a crazy girlfriend who attacked me when I was very sick. I responded by punching her and ending up in jail. Out on my own and under heavy stress, I went into debt, something I'd been careful never to do before. Eventually, I defaulted on my debt. In the meantime, I deal with constant depression and A.D.D. To improve this situation, I over-use alcohol and pot. A few days ago, I tried shrooms and had an extremely bad trip. The main redeeming factor of my life is that I go to University and do pretty well there.
For the first time in a while, I feel some tranquillity returning to my life. I've been focusing on my studies, which have been physics for the past few weeks. I've been listening to classical music and attending a gourmet cooking class. Watching Wimbledon recently revived my old love of tennis and I believe I've found a tennis partner. She's also a college girl with a nice voice(I've only talked to her on the phone), so maybe she could even turn into a girlfriend. Aside from that, I hope to overcome my ADD enough to start reading some more poetry. For me, there's nothing like reading poetry out loud. My very favorite poem is Keats' "Ode to a Nightingale."
Anyway, the dark clouds have cleared away from my mind for a little bit and I thought I'd send out a little rainbow. Peace.



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The following comments are for "a positive mood"
by seanspacey

thanks guys
I needed a little encouragement. Lately I've been reading this poetry book called "The Garden of Epicurus" by James Magorian. I found it at a used book store. Rogan, I'm not an expert on classical music or anything. I like Mozart, Handel, Bach, Wagner. If there's something you recommend, I'd love to give it a listen. Peace.

( Posted by: Seanspacey [Member] On: July 15, 2004 )

Scary stuff
I know the title of my comment may be misleading. What I feel is scary is how much of myself I saw in your rant here. I, too, have dealt with anger issues, alcohol abuse, A.D.D., and other things such as manic depression and near poverty. I spent roughly 7 years of my life in a depression. I haven't completely conqueured it yet, but i'm a hell of a lot closer that i was 3 months ago. Thanks for showing me that i'm not alone and that there can be some light at the end of the tunnel.

( Posted by: E.G. Evans [Member] On: July 16, 2004 )

A Positive Mood
SeanSpacey;
I have been there, maybe not drugs, alcohol, or ADD. But I was stressed out, depressed over 10 years ago when My husband and I were having serious problems....So Yes, I have been there, but God pulled me out of the gutter. You are very strong! And I am glad to know that you are getting back on top with the grace of God...no one knows what people go through and cannot assume it's all " Cake and Icecream"...

My prayers are with You.

Blessings,
{{{Jeannie}}}

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: July 16, 2004 )

Little Rainbow
Sean, thanks for sending out this "little rainbow" reading your words shows you have what it takes, you will come through this and be a better man for it. Thanks for sharing, it is nice to read from someone who can open up. I believe it takes a really special person to let down there guard and let people in. You did a great job at that. Wishing you all the best.

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: July 16, 2004 )

A Positive Mood
Sean this was a good idea for you to share here at lit. A great way to let out any emotions is best on paper, even if it is just to yourself. I am 46, been through way too much and I still I battle things every day. My writing helps with it all.
It is true that without Negative, there would be no Positive to enjoy. We all make mistaks and as cliche as it is, it is true, we learn from them. I am glad you are on your way back onto that path into tomorrows. May peaceful dreams be always yours~D

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: July 18, 2004 )





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