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The Average Adventures of Mean Man #1 - The Origin of Mean Man

Faster than a bull elephant seal on land; more powerful than a loco novelists' motive; able to travel to the top of tall buildings in a push button elevator; these are the adventures of Mean Man.

Born in a small convent on the former leper and convict colony of Norfolk Island to Sister Agatha of the Immaculate Conception and an un-named omnipotent father the babe who was destined to become Mean Man was christened "Lolygobbleblissbloms Adams" after one of sister Agatha's favourite sweets. This was quickly shortened to Blom due to contractual obligations and the space available on the birth certificate.

Blom Adams was a happy child, but when the English government resumed transportation of convicts in 1977, the order of nuns including Sister Agatha stationed on Norfolk Island panicked and ran like lemmings to dive off the high cliffs at one end of the picturesque holiday isle. Blom was sent to live with a foster family on the mainland - the Fosters. Marcella Foster worked as a tax accountant and Gordon Foster was a statistician with the national Bureau of Statistics. They treated Blom like one of their other twenty-six foster children that lived in the empty water tank in their back yard.

One fateful day, all was to change for Blom. He accompanied his father to work one day and while playing with the photocopier he received an innocuous looking paper cut on his hand as he was retrieving a copy.

"Ouch!" Blom cried sticking his finger into his mouth.

"There's a two percent chance that your paper cut could become infected and you could die a horrible death." His statistician foster father snapped, snatching the photocopied sheet from Blom and perusing the page.

BOm bOm BOM!

End Part 1

Join us next time as Blom is transformed from finger sucking schoolboy to timid pre-pubescent crime fighter in

boM BoM BOM!

The Average Adventures of Mean Man #2 - The Continuing Echo of Ripe Watermelon

Like the grasses showing tender faces to each other, thus should we do, for this was the wish of the Grandfathers of the World.

Black Elk

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The following comments are for "The Average Adventures of Mean Man"
by smithy

Oh, please give us more! I love totally ridiculous stuff. Thanks smithy for a good laugh. regards huni.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: July 11, 2004 )

thanks Huni
I love the ridiculous humour too. Douglas Adams and his "The Hitch-hikers Guide to Galaxy" quad-trilogy is one of my favourites. I was brought up on a diet of Monty Python and other English sketch comedy. We also have some good light comedy writers in our newspapers too. This was propbably inspired by Crows call for more super-heros in submissions, but I couldn't think of a good super-hero so I went for a ridiculous one instead.
I'm glad you got a laugh Humi and I'm just trying to space my submissions out rather than flood this fine site with them. I'll post another episode in a couple of days time.

( Posted by: smithy [Member] On: July 12, 2004 )

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