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9.66

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10Charmr
10ivordavies
9Penelope

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You've pushed me into reality
When I've always lived in imaginary bliss,
You've faced me with facts, so sudden
So evil, facts that I'd hoped to miss.

You'd sheltered me with lies,
So small, they've come to an unfortunate melt
I hear the truth from absolute strangers
And it stings like nothing I've ever felt.

You'd always treated me like a king, a god
But in between them I'm just a slave,
They scorn me till my knee caps quiver from humiliation
They whip me if I don't behave.

And the pride they feel every step they take
It's sometimes quite funny to see,
How much these idiots think of themselves
And how little they'll always be

So take me back, I've had enough of reality,
I wish I'd never been born,
this phase of my life will pass, the memory will remain
And till the day i die I'll mourn

Take me back; I appreciate the life you've given me
But eventually like them I'll be
Take me back to the land of imaginary bliss
Reality has taken its toll on me



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Comments

The following comments are for "the price of death"
by seniorme

Reallity
Moet,

Another good poem, I am always amazed at the understanding you have and your ability to express it in poetry.

I feel we do need at times to 'slip out of reallity', if only to take a rest from everyday pressures of life.

Your poetry makes me feel that you are at a time in your life where you are weary of critique and questioning the validity of it. This is the time when we move forward along our own chosen path, may I wish you an exciting and successful journey.

Have Fun,

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: July 11, 2004 )

Reality
Hey,
This is good. It's really good. I suppose we all grow up and find our parents have completey sheltered us. The reality is a war, and we all must fight it. Good luck...and great poem.

( Posted by: Serendipity [Member] On: July 11, 2004 )

Moet is a poet
I gave him/it a 10...

( Posted by: Charmr [Member] On: July 12, 2004 )

some thoughts.
Just some things to consider, and don't take this the wrong way:

"face with facts", "shelter with lies", "treated like a king", "wish I've never been born", "till the day I die" are all cliches.

"I hear the truth from absolute strangers/and it stings like nothing I've ever felt."

As a reader, this doesn't help me visualize anything. What truth do you hear from absolute strangers, why does it sting? How bad does "it stings like nothing I've ever felt" really feel?

( Posted by: die_daily [Member] On: July 12, 2004 )

rogan,ivor,pen,serendipity,charmr,diedaily
thanks for the comments
ROGAN:glad you could relate to it
IVOR:not your usual comments, was expecting disapproval of that last part, lol
PEN:yeah i know, i stumbled while reading it too, i just had so much to say, i wanted to fit everything in at the same time.
SERENDIPITY:;)
CHARMR:thankful
DIE DAILY:Clichés are made to be used, maybe as not as much as i used them here. but i'll try to be original if that's what you mean.this poem is simply a reflection of other poems that i wrote, nothing but a superficial explanation. so only the people who've been following the series would know, which again is not quite right. and as for "the truth", and how it stings, although mentioned in another poem called "school through the eyes of a poet", i could not mention it here, cause it would be a definite shift in the way i'm writing this poem. thanks for the advice.

( Posted by: seniorme [Member] On: July 13, 2004 )





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