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I'll try naming one of my poems "sex",
Let's see how many readers I'll get
You may not comment, nor leave no trace
But you'll check it out I bet

I just realized that no matter how nice
The poem inside really is
It's the title that counts, the first impression
That makes that poet a "wiz"

I can't deny, I'd do the same,
It's just too ironic, but hey!!
You shouldn't care about comments
Just write those troubles away!!

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The following comments are for "sex"
by seniorme

Ok, so I normally don't like rhyming poems but considering the subject matter and such...a little modification and you've got a great Hallmark card. :)

( Posted by: raui [Member] On: July 7, 2004 )

You are totally right about titles. When you see a catchy title, you immediately want to read the rest of the work. I personally have a terrible time creating good titles. Any suggestions?

( Posted by: Brit7 [Member] On: July 7, 2004 )

brit7 and raui
i have the same problem too, i always try to create a title that's so appealing yet related to the poem, i often fail to do so. but the title "sex" has been viewed 23 times already on it's first day. so i'd go about that subject lol... thanx for commenting

( Posted by: seniorme [Member] On: July 7, 2004 )

Ironic and funny! I suppose you proved a point!! Good job.

( Posted by: Serendipity [Member] On: July 7, 2004 )

sad but true...
I am one of those that fights to find the prefect title. This was a great way to lure people in and very emphatically prove your point.

( Posted by: BMartinez [Member] On: September 9, 2004 )

You lured me in...
Shame on us... You lured me in.


( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: September 9, 2004 )

I can claim virginity....
I only saw lilia's comment title! LOL!!

I will now have my wrist slapped.

Alex :-)

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: September 9, 2004 )

i never thought i'd get anymore comments on this piece, but great you guys, thanks alot.

( Posted by: seniorme [Member] On: September 10, 2004 )

Not me
I never saw, never came, never read, must have been another huni. huni. (oops)

( Posted by: huni [Member] On: September 10, 2004 )

lol!! those last bunch of comments are probably the funniest i've ever read!! thanx huni

( Posted by: seniorme [Member] On: September 10, 2004 )

Moet's Sex!


I am sure I commented on this, did you post it twice? as I remember saying there was a double negative in 'nor leave a trace'.

I liked this when I first read it, but for some reason the meter bothered me, I think it was at a time I was sugesting a 'drum beat' for rhythm.

I hope you do not mind I have played around with it a bit, mainly for fun, but to show how a different tempo and a few different words can slightly reposition the piece.:

I've tried naming a poem "sex", (8)
To see the visits I get. (7)
You may not come, or leave a trace, (8)
But you'll check it out I bet. (7)

It just occured, it matters not, (8)
How good the poetry is. (7)
The title is the first they see, (8)
That makes this poem a Wiz! (7)

I can't deny, I'm playing games, (8)
By tempting you all this way. (7)
I love your comments on my rhyme, (8)
Showing you care what I say. (7)

Your version is better Moet, but I thought this one was a good one to decribe my thoughts on rythm, that I never quite got over last time.(note the syllable count).

Thanks again for an excellent write,


( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: September 11, 2004 )

i don't really remember if i had this posted before, but there's a big possibility that that's true. you probably told me to chnge anyways your rendition of the poem is lovely, you're stealing the spotlight!!

( Posted by: seniorme [Member] On: September 12, 2004 )

Sorry Moet, that certainly was not my intention, only to give a different perspective.


( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: September 12, 2004 )

i know i was just joking...Egyptian humor!!

( Posted by: seniorme [Member] On: September 12, 2004 )

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