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this is just a quickie that i wrote. don't get me wrong, it takes me a while to get these things written, but this took the shortest

Getting through it all,
While living with gremlins in this dark and depressing pit hole.
Having nowhere to hide,
But my room in the corner, my confined little space, my all.

In effort to control,
They try to dominate, but not in this lifetime they won't,
I'll fight them back,
I'd go to the extent of killing, to make sure they don't.

They know nothing,
They think they can push me around, treat me like I'm one of their slaves,
They know nothing,
They fall for my hypocrisy, they don't know that for their blood I crave.

Oh the poison,
So sweet is revenge, as I wait till the poison goes up to your head,
Oh the knife,
So cold is the steel in your back, as I stab you in your sleep, in bed.

Time changes people,
And as time goes by the keener and madder I get,
Time changes a lot,
Today we're friends; tomorrow it's as if we've never met.
i tried to adjust the lines, but the box was too small, so you might find the completion of a sentence shifting to the following line, but that's not how i wanted it to be.

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The following comments are for "death will do us part"
by seniorme

death will do us part
Hormones & bluster,I hope,gave it 8.

( Posted by: Charmr [Member] On: June 26, 2004 )


Your poetic style never ceases to amaze me. Yhis is good,your balance of a short line followed by a long one, in perfect flow and rhyme is something I could only aspire to.

You have even noticed that the presentation is so important to this piece, and that things outside your control could affect it!

You have come a long way from, what, at first sight, appeared to be a jumbled mess I nearly didn't read. Glad I did, your poetry shone through then, now it is enjoyable.

Your subject is intesting and shows your innermost struggles with what you see at the moment, keep writing as this will be lost as you you develop more, and right now you can record these feelings for eternity.

We all have 'our' gremlins, we learn to infuence them, as they are usually people too, and guess what? Some of my past gremlins have become my best friends and told me that I used to be their gremlin!

Keep up the good work,


( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: June 27, 2004 )

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