Really appreciate this. That was only late night I went to see a list of Charmr's comments, and I realized his judgding for this poem was not so unique...
As we say: Have a good day!
Posted by: DrKilldare [Member] On: June 25, 2004
I Have Heard About You
I may not have heard right away that there's such a very good short poem like this one, but I know it's not yet late. This is a rather strong poem, with lines talking straight to the face.
I write about you...
and I dream about creating a title that is as capturing as this. When you read/hear a title like this you simply have GOT to read on.
The rest of your poem also follows the exiting, but vexing, atmosphere of the title.
However, although I like the whole poem, I think the poem would be better with one last line. In terms of stanza rhythm. Or perhaps it is exactly the point that it ends where it does? It can function kinda like a question hanging unanswered in the air. For my part, at least, I feel there should be a last line (rhyming the third one), but maybe it is a clever effect of the actual structure to deny me this closure?
Yes, there could have been another line, Lenmart, but not in this poem. The sound and meaning of the last line couldn't be anything than the last word. I invite you to write a strict stanzapoem, if that's more important to you than the "meaning". I'd be glad to read. Thx anuway
Posted by: DrKilldare [Member] On: July 4, 2004
This poem stands on it's metaphorically own two feet, but I agree with Lennart.
Meaning and Music
Thanks for the support, Paxelius. I also think that the good doctor's poem stands on its own feet. And DrKilldare, I agree that instead of criticising you, I could write what I propose in a poem, instead of in theory. Feel free to check out 'Moments of You'.