Being a kid sure was fun. I have many fond childhood memories, and I’d like to
You must login to vote
share a few with you today.
1) At my grandparents’ house, there was this giant field with flowers in it and me
and my brother used to steal all the zip-lock bags and go around and catch bees in them.
You see, what you’d do is you’d seek up on the bee when it was preoccupied with a
flower, and then you slowly slip the bag over the flower. Then you’d zip it up and the bee
would be trapped inside with a flower for it to eat too! One day in particular, I remember
we had like 20 zip-lock bags each with one flower and one bee all lined up on the porch.
Then we said, “Just think of all the money we’ll make off the honey. Ha ha ha!”
2) When my brother and I were about 2 and 3 respectively, we were quite the fans
of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. So every Saturday morning whilst our parents were
still fast asleep in their beds, we’d sneak out of the house and go to this sewer hole that
was a couple houses down the street. We’d peer down into that sewer and say, “Hey,
Michaelangelo! Why don’t you come out and play with us?” Then we’d drop various
food items down for them to eat.
3) Our grandparents used to live out in the boonies, so when the people across the
street had a garage sale one day, it was quite the event. Wowie! We never saw that many
people on our grandparents’ road. One of us got the idea to have a pop or “soda” stand.
This wasn’t difficult to assemble as Grandma and Grandpa H. seemed to have a veritable
bomb shelter in their basement. So we had our little pop stand, even though we hadn’t yet
learned to count money. Anyway, long story short, we got bored with the pop stand and
went to play with the neighbors, Ben and Jon. When we came back, the pop stand was
gone! Uh oh. So we went and told our grandpa what had happened. He said, “You stupid
dumb kids! You can’t just get up and leave when you’re running a business!” He
wouldn’t let us put it back up either.
4) Our other grandparents’ house, which we liked to call, “The Ranch,” was next
to a rather large plot of woods. We loved going to the ranch because every time we did
our grandpa would take us on a tour of the “ghost houses.” In actuality, the ghost houses
were tiny shacks that I now suspect homeless people lived in. We thought they were real
ghost houses though, and we made a big deal out of the ghost house walks. We all got our
walkin’ sticks and headed out. It was great. But one time our Uncle (or “Drunkle”) Randy
took us. And it was really scary because we had a lot of close calls with ghosts that day.
Uncle Randy kept seeing ghosts everywhere, but by the time me and Bob looked they
were always gone.
5) Down the street from Grandma and Grandpa H. lived a strange but endearing
family, which included two boys who were around Bob and my age. Ben and Jon. They
had a booty kickin’ swing set and a million awesome new “Super Soakers” that we liked
to play with in the summer. Their dad always played hide and seek with us and it was way
fun. Like we’d all be in the back yard looking for him and then this ball would come
sailing over the roof and we’d go, “Aha! He’s on the other side of the house.” But of
course by the time we ran there he’d already be in the back yard. Another time, me and
Bob went to Ben and Jon’s house and they weren’t home. So we went and ate a bunch of
raspberries off their bushes. Then we felt really guilty about it every time we went there. I
imagined that they had surveillance cameras, and were waiting for the right moment to unfurl their sweet revenge.
6) When we were about 11 and 10, we discovered a giant ant hill in the woods behind our house. We were like, “Whoa! This is the biggest ant hill I’ve ever seen!” And we brought a bunch of food to the ants to help them grow even stronger. It was working like a charm too. I’m telling you, this thing was super-huge. But then we had to leave town and when we came back the ant hill had been destroyed. We’re still looking for the perpetrators.
And that’s only a small fraction of the hilarious childhood adventures I hold in my memory.