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Poverty and pain are the names of the game
Or at least to the Goths who live in vain
They're so up to their necks in their own sorrow
Sitting around wondering will there be a tomorrow
They whine and complain
They're all just the same
They run from the first challenge they get
Cause they don't want to have to deal with this shit
Throwing themselves into some bottomless pit
Rollin on the ground and throwing a fit
They know only failure, agony, pain and hate
For those they hold responsible for their treacherous fate
But little do they see that we aren't to blame
We aren't the ones who put them in shame
They did that themselves by believing their lives were the worst
If they'd open their eyes they'd see they don't always have to come first
They have a home, a family and somebody to love
Gifts that were give n to them from the man up above
The point is our lives are what we choose to make it
We all have our chances, it's just how we take it

Thanks for taking the time to read my poems. Much love kiddos and I hope my poems meant something to you! Never give up on your dreams :)

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The following comments are for "All That Drama"
by SuGapLuM1107

Hi. I thought this was a funny poem; somewhat mistaken, or perhaps oversimplified, but amusing nonetheless. I'm not a fan of the rhyme scheme because it came across as sing-songy and simplistic, and there is little in the way of concrete imagery for the reader. For example, "poverty." This could mean any number of things, which is why it is better to show poverty using specific imagery, rather than tell it by just using the abstract word "poverty."

( Posted by: die_daily [Member] On: June 20, 2004 )

About Drama
I think this started well but then it got bogged down in the rhyme, which seems forced in places and simply doesn't work in others. I agree with a lot of what die daily had to say. There is something here, some good thoughts but way too many words. It can be cut down in places, tightened up and definitely imporved...thus my "7."

( Posted by: Odysseus [Member] On: June 20, 2004 )

Dark Humor?
I'm not entirely sure of the historical period to which this poem refers, but if it is the one I'm thinking of you've certainly relayed a kind of dark humor, indeed.

The Gothic peoples were starving due to an incredibly bad famine. The Roman Empire had promised them food if they would voluntarily enter restricted camps where they would give up their weapons and live under the auspice of Roman authority. However, the Romans never supplied the promised food. Within the camps, the starving Goths were so desperate they were forced into cannibalism. At some point the Romans capitulated and brought grain to the Goths, but it was only enough to feed a tenth of their numbers and it was grain which had gone bad, at that. The Goths were so enraged at this unbelievably inhuman treatment that they rose up without arms against the legendary force of the Roman army in a bloody rebellion -- an insurrection which was so ghastly, so fueled by righteous hate, that the only historical comparison that I know of lies in the story of the slave rebellion in Haiti during Napoleanic rule. The Haiti rebellion was so terrifying it almost brought a complete and total halt to the Abolitionist movement in the United States and nearly removed Thomas Jefferson from his Presidency due to the circulating rumors regarding his relationship with Sally Hemmings.

Advising a group of people who were then in the midst of burying the wracked bodies of their starved children and stripping meat of the cadavers of those who seemed the healthiest and whom they knew least that "life is what you make it" seems like an extreme form of dark humor which could only be topped by whistling "Always Look On the Bright Side of Life" to the memory of those who were gassed in Nazi death camps.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: June 20, 2004 )

uhm, I think the poem refers to the gothic subculture today. Started in the late seventies with some very influential bands. Nice history lesson though.

( Posted by: die_daily [Member] On: June 20, 2004 )

thanks for reading my poem you guys... i didn't expect to get any comments on this one.. it's not one of my proudest... Ummm, I am more into the rant style myself... this was the first poem I ever wrote. I wrote it in my 8th grade year, jr. high.. right after I got out of my own little wanna be gothic stage.. so thanks for the comments... I'll try and work on it a little more :)

( Posted by: SuGapLuM1107 [Member] On: June 20, 2004 )

do you really think an 11th grader could be that harsh hazel? I have my mean moods but that poem was in no way meant to be used as dark humor.. more of a reminder of why i should stay away from the goth side.. because my life is good, because everybody has problems, because everybody is given choices and i chose alot of bad choices back then.. but i would never mean it in that way. I'm not that mean :(

( Posted by: SuGapLuM1107 [Member] On: June 20, 2004 )

Oh Dear -- those Goths?
My profuse apologies for my unnecesarily lengthy and quite gauche mistaking of your QuasiGoths for VisiGoths. I didn't realize you were in high school -- I just read your poem and then, apparently, opened my mouth and brayed like an ass. Many pardons for the irrelevent foray into history and more for the implication of the hue of your sense of comedy. It would seem I should check the hue of my own eye and then take a little vacation from the History Channel, maybe.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: June 20, 2004 )

No Stress Hazel
There was no way you could have known I was only a teen in High School so it's totally understandable. But I thought the History lesson was quite interesting. Don't let a little mistake that anyone could have made keep you from better educating us. :) THey don't teach that kind of stuff in my school. Or at least not in that kind of detail. So it was actually pretty interesting. But yeah, I'm not that kind of person. I hope nobody would ever joke of such times. Keep on preaching about the history. It's a nice change!

( Posted by: SuGapLuM1107 [Member] On: June 20, 2004 )

on the subject of goths
Edgar Poe et al, wrote some fine Gothic stuff too and the Bohemians in the fifties and sixties were quite depressed too, Satre's influence, was it? Anyone help with that? But to call Goths 'moaners' is a bit unfair - sometimes its just a phase kids go through, sometimes not. I like a bit of Bram Stoker, Poe, etc.
Paul the 'orrible Ogg

( Posted by: ogg [Member] On: June 21, 2004 )

Oh no, I know
Oh gosh, I guess I have some explaining to do before I get any more questions. I know this is a phase ppls go through. I wrote this poem right after finishing going through my own little "phase" I'm sorry I singled out goths when it is really the whole teenage generation in general. But I focused mainly on goths because at the time, I was one myself.. well, just came outta the goth stage anyways.. I definitely didn't want to go back because i did alotta bad things in that stage so I made this poem as a reminder. I submitted it because it was the very first poem I wrote and thought if any I had to submit that one to remind myself how far my poetry has come. Hope that clears a few things up for ya :)

( Posted by: SuGapLuM1107 [Member] On: June 22, 2004 )

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