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Last night’s eat-easy at Mike’s was excellent. The usual healthy food in full view, creams
buns AND a Black Forest Gateau concealed in the wardrobe in his bedroom, how the hell he
smuggles all this kind of stuff in, I’ll never know. Makes my biscuits and English Stilton look
pathetic. The cream buns were not disappointed, or disappointing. Although, after a few of
Jackie’s extra special home made low-fat, high-draw biscuits, everything seems wonderful.
Even the cat was nervous.
I sit, nursing a slight hangover, and consulting the journal, oh yes, what made the USA finally
break off diplomatic relations with us. Okay, already our Goverment (pah), had kicked out all
American fast-food franchises and called America ‘the land of our enemies’, this last event almost
beggars belief. I smooth the creases out of the A4 page and carefully place it in the scrap-book
then paste it down.
'Extract From The Daily Truth, edited by the Ministry of Media' Dateline: January 10 2016
“CHRIST IS AN ENGLISHMAN!!!”
‘In 2007, before our heroic victory in the General Elections of 2013, the Dover Scrolls - a
centurion’s journals were discovered in a garden in Dover. Their contents appeared to support a
belief long cherished by the Christian Nationalist Party, that our Lord Jesus was English. A year
later, Professor Jack Daniels, Head of Archaeology at Dover University expressed concerns
regarding the validity of the documents. Unfortunately, the professor perished in a fire at his
home, ten days later. He was a great loss to the academic world, but fortunately, Professor
Stephen Fox, (now Minister for Science and Technology) was available to replace him. Professor
Fox has spent the last seven years, studying what survived of his predecessor’s journals, the
translated transcripts of the documents completed in 2009 and the reports from various
Universities around Britain who have expertise in dating manuscript and ink.
This morning the professor spoke to a hushed gathering of news media reporters
representing, Internet, TV and of course, the Daily Truth. “It is my proud duty to report that I
have completed my investigations into the validation of the documents known as the Dover
Scrolls.” The professor took a sip of water before continuing shakily, “There is now, no doubt in
my mind, that Jesus Christ was of English and, of course divine parentage. Mary was an English
citizen, who fled to Europe and subsequently to the Holy Land under the protection of her
A spokesman from the Ministry of Media said after the extraordinary press conference.
“We will, undoubtedly become the target of propaganda from subversive elements, domestic and
foreign. All loyal British citizens are urged to report any such incidents. Our email and postal
systems will be flooded with filthy and false accusations of blasphemy. We will soon have the
situation under control.”
He wasn’t bloody joking, an unlikely event in any case, my email inbox has been
inundated, the Royal Mail seems to have fared better. Mind you, air-mail’s a bit expensive. One
such email reads,
“We citizens of the USA are appalled by the statements made by the British Fascist
Government-sponsored claims that our Lord is English. Especially as they are only using this
erroneous conclusion to bolster their policy of isolationism. We urge all honest British people to
rise up against their Nationalist and evil government. You have been lied to, and will continue to
be lied to by River Jones and his ‘thugs in business suits’”
As I close for the day, on January 25 2016, a war of words is in full swing, and it looks as
though our Big Brother’s in for a bit of a clobbering. I’m planning to help out making that clobbering as painful as possible, wherever I can.
Stop importing ‘Cheers’ would they? I love that programme.
I’m being careful about where I hide this material now, police and Health Guardian raids
are more likely around here. Anyone overweight is automatically suspect.
In five hundred years time, most of us will be forgotten dust. But Hitler will still be remembered, God loves irony.