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9.33

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10daprdan
9Huni
9Penelope

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Raging white swells,
with fragments of memory
lost in soft jade,
pulled us to the edge
of this elder place,
our hair wild with rain and sea salt.
There, a misplaced crow picking
among the bones of the beached
caught your eager eye
and I felt your kinship with it,
as we stood, caressed,
in the arms of sea oats.

A year like cutting glass,
of broken shells,
washed away
in the opus of unruly surf
as you set adrift pieces of dreams
along the spine of the waves,
and the wind,
captured and gentled by your growing smile
joined in a symphony
from deep to frothy foam.

Rapture filled your breast and your laughter
caused the universe to tremble
and sigh. Amidst the rain,
with softened voice
you whispered,


“Ohhh, the world is so musical...”



And I'll know those words as the best thing
I will hear, ever.






©2004MelindaKempLyerly

------
"I place these moments in my pocket
to be pulled
at the rush of noon,
the crush of three...
when tears come,
when words must learn to be enough..." MKL


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Comments

The following comments are for "Opus (For Seren, Emerging)"
by Serenem

Truly Beautiful
Descriptive and emotional. Some great lines here--bones of the bleached, cause the universe to tremble--good stuff!

( Posted by: Starscapeviews [Member] On: June 16, 2004 )

Hi, Starscapeviews...


and thank you for coming to read and comment on my poem-- I appreciate it!


Regards,

Melinda

( Posted by: Serenem [Member] On: June 16, 2004 )

thick
hi melinda,

there's some great images in here... it's lovely to be carried back to the ocean again...

i particularly liked the misplaced crow, and the spine of the waves.

there's almost too many descriptive phrases, though. i think a few less descriptive/poetic words would be useful: they wouldn't get buried under each other that way, you know?

lovely, though: better than a lot we get around here. i'll watch for more.

ark

( Posted by: ark [Member] On: June 16, 2004 )

Hello, ark!
Thanks for reading this and for your comments.

Yes, I love the ocean very much. There's always something rather... restorative... about it.

I'll carefully consider your suggestion regarding this; I always appreciate another writer's thoughts and helpful critique.

I Look forward to reading more of your work, as well!


Regards,

Melinda

( Posted by: Serenem [Member] On: June 18, 2004 )

Yes, the ocean!
...has always had a very special appeal for me, as well, Penelope. I grew up within a twenty minutes drive from it as I grew up, but now it's a three-and-half hours drive-- I miss being able to go as often as I once did.

Quite a bit of my poetry has ocean imagery in it-- Another piece of common ground, eh? I look forward to reading more of yours.

Thanks for bring me to this place...


Melinda

( Posted by: Serenem [Member] On: June 18, 2004 )

Beautifll
I loved all your descriptive phrases. They built up for me like waves till the whole sense of your poem washed over me. I am impressed by this one and will read your others. To learn as well as enjoy. Your signature fascinates and pleases me, I wrote something similar about how my Haiku were born in me as a child and only now are pulled out and made alive. Is it your saying? regards huni.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: June 28, 2004 )

Yes, it is mine...
Hi, Huni!

I'm glad that you liked my poem, thank you!


"I place these moments in my pocket
to be pulled
at the rush of noon,
the crush of three...
when tears come,
when words must learn to be enough..." MKL

Yes, the quote in my signature is an excerpt from one of my poems, 'Indigo Morning'. I'll submit it soon, so you can read it.

Btw, I love your haiku...


Melinda

( Posted by: Serenem [Member] On: June 28, 2004 )

Opus?...
This is not a large work of art...

By word count...

However, it certainly is by thoughts, visuals, emotions, and most assuredly by Quality...

Though I like Indigo better...

I can see where its quality came from in this verse...

You certainly are quite talented...

( Posted by: daprdan [Member] On: June 30, 2004 )

Opus
daprdan,

Thank you for visiting this poem and for your overwhelmingly kind comments!

I am so pleased that you like this...


Melinda

( Posted by: Serenem [Member] On: July 1, 2004 )





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