Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(6 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote


I was a hole once.
I loved it.
A fish would swim thru,
perhaps a bluegill,
passing from one lake to the next.

I was a hole once.
Each morning the sun shined thru,
or perhaps there were clouds.
It was crazy.
You could never tell.
At night there were stars!
I remember.
You can never take them away.

I was a hole once
& I was happy.
All manners of things passed thru,
whether you liked it or not.
It didn't matter.

I was a hole once
& it was lovely.
Children would appear at the edges,
their fingers at the rim
as if peering from a boat
into the magic of water,
& I would be water
& they could see forever.

I was a hole once
& it was lovely
& it was sad.
Strange things would happen there.
A freshly-waxed carful of teenagers
would tumble end over end
& smack an autumn tree
@ 3 a.m.
their blood on the highway
like cranberry sauce,
the eyes of small roadside animals

I was a hole once.
A river flowed thru.
Rock & scrabble were barfed along the edges.
In spring it would flood.
It was terrible & it was true,
like a snake swallowing something impossible.
Tornados would appear
throwing fish into the sky!
I wouldn't kid you.

I was a hole once
& it was fearful.
But I loved to shiver,
loved to feel the nerves twitch
in the blood-red meat of things.
Loved the strange taste & touch
of a new lover.
All those earthly things.
It was scary.

I was a hole once.
Oh, the unkindness!
When you reprimand your children,
what will they reap?
Ouch! What tender feet!
As they passed thru
I kissed each toe.

I was a hole once.
All the garbage passed thru.
Soup cans.
Plastic diapers.
Tin pie-plates.
Cardboard breakfasts.
Government documents.
Broken treaties.
Dear John letters.
Things you could not see.
The list was endless.
People felt unnatural
when they walked in a forest.

I was a hole once.
Religions passed thru.
Politicians, thieves, butchers.
It was constipating.
Their words were like nails
that choked my heart.
& wars!
I can't forget the wars.
The air would cry.
Poles would reverse.
The ground would stink
in the name of some god.
It all passed thru
as if dragging its tail.

I was a hole once
& it meant everything.
I was a hole once
& it broke my heart.
Now it is my turn to pass through.
I was a hole once.

Related Items


The following comments are for "THE HOLE"
by gomarsoap

shit man, this is great. And I'm not just saying that because you reviewed my piece. I liked the language, that's probably a wierd thing to say, but wasn't pretentious, which is really damn refreshing; rather, it was conversational ... poignant. Probably a minor thing to anybody else I guess, but I don't bother with over-the-top poetry anymore. So, uhm, thanks. I liked the bit about plastic diapers and dear John letters a lot.


( Posted by: die_daily [Member] On: June 15, 2004 )


I can only aspire to your imagination and creativity. It poems like this that are going to get even me to appreciate the full beauty of free writing.

It is brilliant, I have not yet had the opertunity to be incarnated into all these situations, and just the thought of being reincarnated into a hole, you have given life to every part of time and space with this one.

I look forward to trying out your 7th stanza!

Thank you for an exceptional read,


( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: June 15, 2004 )


Don't stop.

If you're not there
you have room for everything.


( Posted by: johnlibertus [Member] On: June 15, 2004 )

What a happy hole it was till it had to cope with all the garbage that hole fillers threw at it. The way it turned from a hole of magic and beauty to horror, completely drew me in. Still, it felt hopeful at the end, as if maybe there is a black hole somewhere that can swallow up all the badness. And then disappear itself. But then where would we all be? I'm rambling, see what you have done to me! I really loved this gomar. regards huni.

p.s. Are the cars waxed or the Teenagers? LOL. h.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: June 16, 2004 )

oh, you dear, smart man


this is amazing.

longer than your usuals, huh? is this new? part of the manuscript you're at work on?
great to see more of your range.

my only speedbumps were the spelling of "thru"... really bugged me, somehow... and the & sign... which i know you like, so i'll leave it alone... and the @ sign before 3 a.m... this last one really chopped the image in half for me, which was a shame, because it's a strong one. i'm into the visual of poetry as well as the audio, and the @ sign just reminds me of email. anyway. just my take.

otherwise, wonderful. maybe some places could use a bit of tightening and it would be helpful for me if the images were a bit more connected/flowing. but the pieces are all there, and they work.

( Posted by: ark [Member] On: June 16, 2004 )

"Hole" lot of thanks
Thanks to all of you for your kind comments.

Huni - yes, both the car & the teens were "waxed."

Ark - your criticism is very welcome and helpful. I'm not sure if this will be in the manuscript. It is an older poem that I've never been able to get quite right.

Unfortunately, I think I'm stuck with the "&" sign stylistically as I've used it for many years and in many poems.

I think I will indeed change "thru" to "through." I guess it's kind of silly and doesn't really make a whit of difference. Same with the "@."

You are right about tightening and the flow. I'm not satisfied with it either. Guess I'll just have to keep at it until it's better.

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: June 18, 2004 )

This is entrancing. I've read it three times and enjoyed more with each reading.

( Posted by: Starscapeviews [Member] On: June 18, 2004 )

Nice Write
like a snake swallowing something impossible.
Tornados would appear
throwing fish into the sky!

This is my favorite part but let me say that the entire piece is exceptional.

Soup cans.
Plastic diapers.
Tin pie-plates.
Cardboard breakfasts.
Government documents.
Broken treaties.
Dear John letters.
Things you could not see.
The list was endless.

And the list IS endless in your descriptiveness. Makes me REALLY stop to think of the depth of the life of a hole. I really have enjoyed this poem. It stops me in my tracks. Thanks.

( Posted by: Char [Member] On: June 24, 2004 )

Holy crap
You know, the first thing that struck me when I read this poem (and it took a while because I was drawn along wordlessly through the lines for quite some time), was its incredible confidence and self-assurance. You know what you're doing, you KNOW you know what you're doing, and it shows.

This is a first-rate poem in every way: structure, diction, imagery (so evocative, yet economical!). It's imaginative, fresh . . . shit. I'm totally out of words now. I don't what more to say about it except that I LOVERD IT!!!!

Your very best, in my ever-so-humble opinion!

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: September 7, 2004 )

Welcome return
So nice to be reminded of this amazing poem. huni.

( Posted by: huni [Member] On: September 7, 2004 )
Ok, I have to admit that I followed Viper's comment heading "holy crap". Drew my attention to this. I don't know how I could have missed it, having read many of your poems.
This has to be my favorite, you may think it needs work refining it. Then it surely would be over 10, to me it is near perfection. Like fluid, it moved through me.......absolutely a brilliant piece,,,but coming from you I would expect the brilliancy...
Sorry I am so late on this. LOL.

My Best to you,

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: September 7, 2004 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.