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Part 2
Somebody is at the door, I must hide this and continue later.



Bloody Jehovah’s Witnesses, I turn the cross on the wall upside down and invite them in. My
questions regarding the availability of virgins for human sacrifice seems to upset them and they
have decided to leave. I wave to them through the window, return to my armchair and bring out
the loose leaf scrap-book again.
I must admit, the Cof E lot are worse though. Ever since the Dover Scrolls discovery, back in
2007, their vicars have been walking around with a smug ‘told you so’ expression on their faces.
They’re starting to believe their own and the Christian Nationalists’ propaganda. I reach out a
plastic folder full of loose cuttings from pre-Media Purge days. Among them there should be, aha,
I pick out a clipping, its edges yellow with age. Now, don’t forget, this will contain a lot of
half-truths that were not government-approved.



'Extract From The Daily Sport, Dateline: May 14 2007


“WAS JESUS ENGLISH?” By Sunshine DeVine


A set of ancient scrolls wrapped in oilskins has been discovered in the back garden of
Gordon Leame, he spoke at a news conference this morning, along with Professor Jack Daniels of
the Archaelogy Dept. at Dover University. Mr Leame stated, “Oi were digging a ruddy great ‘ole
in me back garden to plant a conifer, Scandinavian variety - grow like buggery, they do. Well,
any’ow Oi smacks me shovel inta this package thing. Oi thinks, ‘ello, ‘ello - maybe it’s part o’
that bloke what went missin’ last month. They only found a torso, no arms or...oh sorry. Anyway,
Oi came over all queer, Oi did. Gave me a right turn it did. Oi have these funny do’s like, now and
then. Well it turned out it weren’t no body parts or whatever, Oi said to me Missus, ‘Thank Gawd
for that’ as you do........”


Eventually Professor Daniels was able to speak, he made a short but astonishing
statement,
“Verification of the scrolls’ age is still in progress, as is their translation from the Latin in which
they have been written. They appear to have been written by a centurion of the Roman invasion in
50 A.D. Already we have discovered some references to an incident in Jerusalem twenty years
previously, when a man was executed for sedition. His mother claimed her son’s body afterwards
and gave her name as Mary, widow of Joseph, her birthplace, Britannica. That is all we have at
the minute, thank you.”


If the Dover Scrolls’ integrity is confirmed, then Gordon Leame may have discover a
document which will rock the Christian Church to its foundation. I spoke later to a jubilant River
Jones, leader of the recently formed Christian Nationalist Party. The CNP has already claimed that
since most artistic representations of Jesus show him to have blue eyes and blond hair, he couldn’t
be of Jewish parentage. “Told you so, I knew our Lord was English. Fancy a drink? Fancy a ....”
I called him a dirty old man and left, he’s sixty seven, for God’s sake.’



I laugh and paste this into the back of the scrap-book. My pc starts to sing to me, “Ah,
won’t you take me out tonight. Ah, down beside the red fire light. Ah, you’re going give it..” -
email incoming. I punch the ‘Open’ button, still hum the Queen tune as I scan the subject line -
‘party at Mike’s tonight.’ Tap read - ‘Drink, eat and be merry at Mike Smith’s tonite, 7.30’. I
quickly check today’s lottery draw, first number is twenty. Now, check the book, run my finger
down the page and oh, yes excellent, eat-easy!

'Extract From The Daily Truth, edited by the Ministry of Media' Dateline: August 3 2015


“ATTEMPTS AT CODED MESSAGING DESCRIBED AS ‘PATHETIC’”


‘”Oded cay, essaging may, athetic pay.” quipped Secretary of The Internet Control
Department, Jovial Kent at a press conference, yesterday. He continued, “As always, there are a
minority of commie subversives who want to ruin things for everyone else by passing messages in
code to each other, well it’s not working. Only last week we discovered four different plots to
sabotage meetings of CNP loyal team workers by serving them out-of-date pork pies. They were
thwarted by some of the finest minds in Britain working here at Internet Control. There has yet to
be a system what they can’t crack.”’



I smile, oh really? Finest minds in Britains - some of the silly buggers could lose a battle of
wits with a cheese sandwich. They sure as hell haven’t managed our codes, yet, developed by
yours truly and based on the Daily Lottery. Glance at my watch, it is eleven o’clock, time to
switch tv on and tune into 'Yoga With Windchimes Murdoch'. This afternoon, I’d better explain my
coding system.



------
In five hundred years time, most of us will be forgotten dust. But Hitler will still be remembered, God loves irony.


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