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This approaching 'christianí celebration is bringing with it

sickness that I've yet learned how to deal with in any healing,

balanced, protective manner. Though now gratefully exposed to

yoga, recognizing the enlightenment, healing, and powerfully

insightful spiritual element of finally learning to feel PRESENT in

ones physical body, it is still very difficult to allow myself to turn

to this gentleness in order to release and exercise the anger that

I've refused to acknowledge or feel for a lifetime. The memories

that come bring a strange mixture of feelings that had until a

short time ago had been absent. It's like I'm not even able to allow

myself to acknowledge the impact my father had on us as children

when he began his use of the 'christain' philosophy for power,

control, intimidation and attempted management of his own lack

of balance, peace, love, or any gentleness whatsoever towards or

within himself. There's too much inside of me that is attached to

what I now see as truth, to what I now know to be more important

than what I was taught. The Light I draw, that I must draw now,

from what I was taught about the man, that peaceful warrior

named Jesus Christ who's brutal crucifixion and magikal

resurrection we think we have the right to 'celebrate' in such a

popular, consumer and profit-driven way as we do, this light I

MUST draw is HUMAN HONOR AND RESPECT,

GENTLENESS, LOVE(?), COMPASSION, UNDERSTANDING,

DETACHMENT, PERSERVERANCE, and strength. These are the

character traits that at times I grudgingly acknowledge about this

person quite popular among these present and so very 'modern'

day 'christain' groups community-wide, nation-wide...These are

the things I MUST teach my child as I am teaching them to myself

for I find these lacking in me as I react in defense of myself and

my family to the constant destructive intrusion of this society's

environmental, psychological, spiritual, and emotional ills. The

most blatant hypocrisy I find personally the most sickening is the

use of the female body and sex in order to stimulate sales. May I

ask if we are limiting the definition of prostitution to the exchange

of the 'physical' sex act, or why wouldn't it encompass the sale of

the intent of sexual focus and interpretation, or the erotic

stimulation and arousal of sexual energy from the person viewing?

Sooo, we are a 'christian' nation, and yet in your communities

where is the sacred recognition of anything 'holy' other than

modern 'conveniences' and maybe secret manipulation of the

masses through the visual candy throughout advertising?


There is sickness all around, and fear is feeding on the growing

mental, psychological, emotional, and spiritual illnesses. I am

terrified of this tolerance from the men and women around us as I

strive to seek those with whom to build COMMUNITY and


TRUST. This stagnant, stagnant ignorance, fear, and violence can

have one's head in a whirl as you try to draw strength to find the

patience and explain why there is so much tolerance of sexual

exploitation, physical weakness, fear, violence, and spiritual

emptiness. And what does 'christianity' really mean today?

Preachers? Anyone? Psychological rape is what I call the act of

using your own fanatical fervor, zeal, wit, and charm as a father

on your own children teaching them they were nothing, that they

were 'evil', 'bad', 'sinners'. That human sexuality, especially

female sexuality was sick and wrong, only for childbearing.

Masturbation was disgusting, never to be used. Female sexual

energy is evil and feared by some men. So they must use,

manipulate, and portray it in such a way that strips away the

ability to be taken dead seriously, that softens us, that makes us

more useful to his choosing, so that he can control that which he

needs, and yet is afraid of. And our daughters wonder why there is

so much body hate among us? The self-hatred inflicted upon us

from this 'christain' man is a product of the environment of where and how he was raised. His inability to accept and love his own

self made it impossible to love anyone else, even his own wife and

children. This day of the year, this eleventh day of April he still

celebrates. And is still so far away from those he taught, in his

own way his interpretation of the christain philosophy. The

sexism, racism, homophobia, anti-feminism, judgment and

condemnation that saturated my childhood is shared by a majority

of those 'christain' people nation-wide who may not share ALL of

my father's fanatical, insanely paranoid and controlling parenting

and lifestyle views but share the same enthusiasm and tolerance

for this private profit-driven system which relies solely on the

mass exploitation and violence towards the working class, the

race and sexual minorities, and universally the women and

children. The women and children...on whose backs this capitalist

system relies. As we unite our voice and protest against the

continuing to use sexual stimulation to trigger the impulse

buying, we will uncover buried rage, anger, and yes fear. But as

we educate ourselves on what is truly going on, and see that we

DO have the power to change this blatant attack on our human

dignity, and ultimately safety, the definition of the word 'christain'

will hopefully begin to match the image one has as one absorbs the

intimate lifestyle dynamics that are contributing to so much pain,

ignorance, illness, and injustice that happens every day and

NEVER makes the news. So how are the people? And what does

'christain' nation mean? To you? To me? To those outside this 'united states'?

I will continue to put effort towards healing. This is the only way

I'll have the strength to counter the hypocrisy, the ignorance of

female sexual energy/power, the refusal to ask questions that

NEED to be asked! More and more of us are NOT willing to

compromise our dignity or self-respect nor remain in spiritual

emptiness. More and more of us ARE healing and will never stop.

More and more of us are saying no, or at least attempting to learn.



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The following comments are for "Easterday_Illness"
by satori





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