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10nae411
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I dreamt of you last night.
You came to me on a sea of tears,
with salted lips and rusted hair.
Your eyes pleaded with me from sunken sockets.

So I built you a castle in the sand.
A fortress in which to hide and gain shelter
from the elements that had eroded away your skin;
exposing the pearl white bone,
poking out from behind mottled flesh.

I watched you from outside the haze
that had suddenly surrounded you.
Like a filmy gauze clinging to your flimzy frame.

Then you looked up and smiled at me.
I almost had to shudder, when I saw
your cracked lips pulled tightly over
blackened rotted teeth.

It brought me back to the day we first met,
and how when I saw you smile
I knew I'd love you forever.

I became nausiated and awoke with a jolt,
drenched in sweat and tasting blood.
That's when I decided that it's time to end this nightmare.

It's over between us, so I won't
be stopping by to see you anymore.
You'll have to find someone else to put flowers on your grave,
and someone else's dreams to haunt.


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Comments

The following comments are for "I Dreamt of You"
by Reba

You took me on a journey
Reba,

I have been looking over your poetry and I think I have said this before, I love it. It was hard to find anything to add to others comments on any of your work as, I would have only been adding my praise.

Then I found this one, it is exceptional. I love the journey into the memories and 'nightmare' you took me into. It,s full of intrigue, leaving me wanting to know more.

I have always had difficulty with , what I would call 'modern poetry', where the rhyming of words is not obvious and therefore I miss out on quite a lot.

I think this is possibly the second time I have commented that I have found this type of poetry from you excellent. Even 'I' can feel the poetry in it and feel the rhythm.... if you knew how much of a comliment this was, you may be astounded.

Yes, maybe I am old fashioned, but you are helping me to stretch my brain cells, I only hope they don't tear!

Thank you once again for an exceptional write,

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: June 1, 2004 )

Ivor
Ivor, you have brought a smile upon my face that I'm sure won't be leaving any time soon :)...this is what writing is to me...getting through to people...touching their soul with words...this is the best compliment anyone could ever give me, concerning my writing...and I thank you ever so much for taking the time to brighten my day...as far as this particular piece, it needs a bit of work...as I've said before, free-style does not come as easily to me as rhyme...so I am stretching my horizons as well :)...this site and the comments/suggestions from others has been a HUGE help to me...thank you again, Friend.
Reba

( Posted by: Reba [Member] On: June 2, 2004 )

Reba
Absolutely exquisite, You say it needs a bit of piece, I think it is perfect! Great work!

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: June 2, 2004 )

Reba-
correcting my typo- meant to say "You say it needs a bit of work, I think it is perfect!"
Sorry about that, Great work!!!

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: June 2, 2004 )

Dream
This is truly a great poem. I am about to read all your other poems!!! Thanks....for the trip you took me on. It was exciting! How often we don't leave because we are to afraid.

( Posted by: Serendipity [Member] On: October 15, 2004 )

Serendipity
you flatter me!...you are truly a wonderful poet, and I graciously accept your praise...thanks for keeping my ink abundant :)
Reba

( Posted by: Reba [Member] On: October 18, 2004 )





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