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10TheMuseDiva

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It is laundry day again,
her words like wrinkled shorts,
require pressing; smoothing wrinkles
and dabbing at the lies;
some stains will not lift.
There they lie,
ugly and difficult to conceal,
never mind the brooch.

She is allergic to soap,
the stringent qualities make her itch,
I struggle to clean the grimy garments,
with gentle water;
but they remain muddy and gray,
as impure
as the lines of her mouth;
impossible task.

Some things simply do not wash.


------
There\'s nothing like eavesdropping to show you that the world outside your head is different from the world inside your head.
www.shawnasmart.com



Comments

The following comments are for "Wrestling Mothers Laundry : Metephorical Musings"
by TheMuseDiva

mother
Oh!

I find some very interesting poems when I look through the "Lonely Posts" section and this is definitely one of them! I love the analogy you are making here and the way you go about describing the images.

One small note: the last three lines of the first stanza seem a bit out of place. You aren't trying to conceal as much as clean, right? And the brooch seems a bit out of place...as though on the jacket of a bum.

Otherwise, great poem you got here! =D Take care.

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: May 26, 2004 )

Thanks
Thank you for the feedback. I agree they do read a bit akward, but in the end, after fooling with it, I walked away no better for it:) I decided to give it time to age, and then come back to it. Thank you o much for the clean feedback. I so appreciate it:)

( Posted by: TheMuseDiva [Member] On: May 26, 2004 )





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