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I wrote this poem for my niece who has a habbit of coming down on herself and who has done so much that she doesn't realize. So so I wrote this to help her. I think it worked.





YOU

You are the best that life has to give,
For you have walked, and you have lived.
You rose above all that has been thrown at you,
And knew in your heart, what you had to do.

You succeeded at all with a very strong will,
You're like a rose, growing on a window sill.
You opened up and then you bloomed,
Heads turn towards you, when you enter a room.
So never feel like you have failed
Because you my dear, in life have prevailed!

All the good that you have done,
All the joy and all the fun,
All the times you've fought to win,
All the times you had to begin,
All the times you've been hurt,
Even the times you hit the dirt.
Has strengthened you to continue to grow,
And has made you that wonderful person I know.

So walk proud, with you head up high.
And never question yourself why.
Just look at what in life you have done
And know from that point, that you have won!!

Written by:
Catherin Sawyer










------
Catherine R. Sawyer


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The following comments are for "You"
by mom11159

Comments are a gamble
Cathy,

I've just re-visited your work and found this one without comment. I know that occasionally I miss poems because there are too many being posted and in browsing have found beautiful pieces such has this that nobody has commented on.

The feeling and expresion you put into this is amazing, it reminds me of the support I recieved from my family after being made redundant.

You have asked me to comment on things I think would improve your poetry...Nothing in the wording of this, its brilliant.
I would of split it into paragraphs(stanzas) to give the reader time to absorb each part of the developing poem though, as I have done below:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You are the best that life has to give,
Because you have walked, and you have lived.
You rose above all, that has been thrown at you,
And knew in your heart, what you had to do.
You succeeded at all, with a very strong will,
You're like a rose, growing on a window sill.
You open up and then you bloom,
Heads turn towards you, when you enter a room.
So never look down on yourself, and feel like you've failed
Because 'you' my dear, in life have prevailed!

All the good that you have done,
All the joy and all the fun,
All the times you've fought to win,
All the times you had to begin,
All the times you've been hurt,
All the times you hit the dirt,
Has strengthened you to continue to grow,
And has made you that wonderful person I know.

So walk proud, with your head up high,
And never ask the question why.
Just look at what in life you have done,
And know from that point, that you have won!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Its a beautiful poem, I love it...thank you

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: June 11, 2004 )

will do
I will probably be redoing all my work I have not been on here for quit awhile. I have been exploring different forums and learning a great deal. So now all my poetry will be in stanzas. May take a while though, but will start with this one. I have been reading your poetry and wow your real good so yea any ideas please let me know. And thank you
Cathy

( Posted by: mom11159 [Member] On: June 11, 2004 )

Cathy
Cathy, Your niece is blessed to have you. I am sure this poem uplifted her. You seem to have a gift at bringing people hope. I can read it in your words. Great write!

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: June 12, 2004 )

Nae
Thank you so very much for your wonderful comment. My niece read this with me and told me to tell you she is blessed. Makes me feel so special. LOL Thanks for reading.
Cathy

( Posted by: mom11159 [Member] On: June 12, 2004 )

mom...yes
yes...

You have even split the first stanza, where I wanted to... but did not because I was guessing where you own natural breaks would be!

You are a wonderful poet and thank you for your kind words on my work.

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: June 13, 2004 )

work
After reading your wonderful work and I am still not done. Any suggestions you have I will greatly appreciate you are a truely a wonderful poet who definately knows how to write. Thank you again
Cathy

( Posted by: mom11159 [Member] On: June 13, 2004 )





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