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Closing Your Eyes

You walk along life’s stony path,
in fear of the truth in memories past.
How many times did you fall on the sword,
turning from the wisdom of an honest word?

God sees the state that you’re in
your life is like a perpetual spin.
Truth is gained by an implausible cost.
You choose to hide at a plummeting loss.

Pride and selfishness steals your soul,
an honest discourse will make you whole.
Why do you cringe at the very thought,
of admitting the grief that you have brought.

There is no lesson without searing pain.
So what is it that you hope to gain?
Is it silence or joy and faithfulness?
Or is it cleansing from the selfishness?

So you trip over stones along your way,
when you know that in time you will have to pay.
No one escapes eternity by lies,
so you go on and on,
Closing your eyes.

"If you have the chance to sit it out or dance, I just say Dance." writen by Mark Sanders recorded by LeeAnn Womack

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The following comments are for "Closing Your Eyes"
by BevRaffaele

what a tangled web we weave.Goodie

( Posted by: ValoH [Member] On: June 13, 2004 )

Closing eye's ....

This is a lovely piece of poetry. It gives me the impresion that this is whats in your 'minds eye' for the person for whom it is intended. (does that make sense).

Might I suggest you use 'you are' in the first line of the 2nd stanza to help the rhyme, and drop the 'so' from your last split line in order to improve both it's rhyme and meaning.

These are only personal suggestions and in no way meant to criticise, what is a beautiful piece of poetry

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: June 14, 2004 )

I Agree With Ivor
Bev, this is a nice piece to read, very touching.
Personal and pleasureable to read...thanks.

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: June 17, 2004 )

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