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I step into a world of serenity sublime.
A quiet fern lined path of clover like flowers.
Rhododendrons, wild, tall, pale lilac in May
contrasting the dark brown shadows where the Sequoia thrive.

Colors of reds and greens rich and dark as a coffee bean.
The forest quiet and still as shallow roots cling,
Embracing each other, lending support.
The smells pungent.

The sky above seen through a canopy
of branches spreading, reaching, stretching up and up.
Sunrays stream their ghostly slides between
Lighting the forest floor.
The banana slug slinks from it cringing.

Majestic soldiers protecting a wind blown craggy coast.
Ancient, imposing, superior, magnificent.
A gust of wind makes another attempt
To sway the mighty Sequoia,
Yet he is unmovable,
Crying out a crack and a groan.

Your world oh Sequoia with rivers so clear
Where trout and steelhead jump.
The Smith River, undammed, wild, rushing.
Salmon fighting against the current of life and death.

The Klamath, the Pomo, the Miwok, and the Hoopa
Cry from their native souls at what man has wrought.
Littering their vile trash. Blaspheming sanctity itself.
The Sequoia shouts no and lives on as the revilers die.
Those that love them rejoice.

Invincible to fire, the sea has tried, the mills
and the worm have tried to destroy them but to no avail.
A fallen Sequoia only births more,
Its sienna, nutritious, fertile soft wood rich and moist.

From the spring of infancy to the fall of now.
You have watched over me with your 3000 years of might.
Oh how I love you and what you know of me.
Creation smiles, I smile in glorious awe and wonder.

"If you have the chance to sit it out or dance, I just say Dance." writen by Mark Sanders recorded by LeeAnn Womack

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The following comments are for "Sequoia"
by BevRaffaele

This is a very beautiful piece, definitely something to be proud of. I particularly liked the stanza where you mention the sun coming down through the clouds and the bananna slug. It seems serious and somewhat playful simultaniously. Sort of like alot of things in nature.

I think that it would do you some good to trim the lines down a bit. There are a few lines where you seem like you're crunching too much into a line and it hurts the flow of the poem. Other than that, I'd say do a grammer check and possibly spelling and you've got quite a formidable poem on your hands. =D

Take care.

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: May 27, 2004 )

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