Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
7

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
7Unknown

You must login to vote

Rain poured heavily on the small straw thatched roof of the hut, holes gaped through allowing some of the water to pour through, either to be caught in a bucket, drench the ground or soak the inhabitants. But this night none of them payed any attention to the rain that poured over them, they were waiting for the women in the other room to finally bring a child to the world. Three men waited outside listening to the screams of the soon to be mother. Her agony tore at their hearts.
Suddenly the screams stopped and the door to the room opened, one of the midwives stumbeled from the opening holding her stomach, and pale as her white apron. One of the men whent to her and held her up.
"What has happened?" She tried to speek and all she could say was.
"Marion is,... she is dead." Stunned the man's grip weakened and the midwife slipped to floor bubleing in tears. He raced to the room and gasped in shock, his legs weakened and he fell backwards.
Their on the table lay marion, a smile of peace spread across her face witch was now soft and delicate loking. But the thing that caused him the most shock was the child. Laying on the floor crying, next to the other midwife who had passed out over a chair. A pool of bile lay below her. He looked again at the child it's skin was blue pure blue almost crytalline, it's eyes were open. Blue emanated from them staring at the man seeming to cut deep into his soul. Searching his heart.
To be continued....
Nathanael DJ Werdal

------
Dreams that disturbe you when you sleep,
and haunt you when you are awake.
Make up a mirror of who and what you are,
spiritually.


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Introduction to a legend-Part 1."
by chill

Short
I thought this was way to short. If you could have developed why they were so upset about the blue baby... I pictured it as a smurf. heh... But I liked it still. Just a bit short.

( Posted by: The Hal [Member] On: February 27, 2002 )

of course it's short
of course it's short it is only an intro for the story to come. And I ran out of time and had to 'Nutshell' it.
Thanx for the comments though.

( Posted by: chill [Member] On: March 1, 2002 )

Re: of course it's short
Pardon me. I'm not a mind reader. I had no idea it was supposed to be a short introduction. How could I possibly? I simply suggested that it could have been longer and you could have given a bit more detail. I felt that would have been a good thing. Also it's not like stories posted here are on a dead line, you can take as much time as you read. Feeling rushed to get something out could end up a bad habbit to get into.

( Posted by: The Hal [Member] On: March 9, 2002 )

i'm waiting for the rest
Story was intriging. Watch your spelling. I look forward to the rest of the story. I don't have a problem with a short story, as long as you wrap it up. Like the Hal said, take your time and finish it. No deadline.

( Posted by: mrs foxyL [Member] On: March 9, 2002 )

Thanx
First off, sorry "Tha Hal" if I seemed annoyed. It was good advice and I thank you for it. And the same goes for the rest of you, I didn't expect comments at all, but yes it is short, but no more. If you want to read the rest of the introduction go to the "More by Chill" link and read the other two parts. They are leading up to the story that I am writing, Rin: Hunters Dawn. Enjoy

( Posted by: chill [Member] On: March 12, 2002 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: