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7Viper9

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Erase what's left to feel
find those numb thoughts
that dream away
holding, grasping so tightly
on a fallen star
Pick up what's left behind
don't mourn, don't weep
life drowned so long ago
it's buried already
while the little pellucid liquid
leaves sparkling lines
that try to carry
this faded mascara away
In the flourescent dark
light will shine


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Comments

The following comments are for "Tomorrow"
by cassandra

Promise
There's promise her,e but I'd like to see it realized. I get the feeling that you could do so much more with the ideas in here, really flesh them out. Loved the lines: "leaves sparkling lines / that try to carry / this faded mascara / way / In the flourescent dark / light will shine". Nice.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: May 24, 2004 )

thanks
thanks for the comment. I just wrote that down without much thinking and were stunned at the outcome. I will work on it.

( Posted by: cassandra [Member] On: May 26, 2004 )

nice
I also liked a few words in this poem.
Nicely written..

My favorite lines..

while the little pellucid liquid
leaves sparkling lines
that try to carry
this faded mascara away
In the flourescent dark
light will shine

All's good...Mouse.

( Posted by: raejon [Member] On: May 28, 2004 )





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