Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(1 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

SNAP…thud. Henry falls in a pile of muck and leaves. Quickly standing he tries to calm himself so he can listen to see if the villagers are still following him. He takes a few quick breaths, but he can still only hear the sound of his heart pounding in his chest.

Better to be safe than sorry, he breaks into a full run hopping and jumping over logs and low lying brush to make his escape. It’s cold out and Henry is glad that the clouds that threatened snow last night had departed without dropping more than a dusting. A rare thing for this time of year, but he is still grateful. He figures it will be harder for them to track him without the snow. As he climbs on top of a fallen tree he hears a dog bark in the distance. Still on his haunches he turns and growls menacingly back at the sound. He shakes the instinct to fight, hopping down off of the tree trunk and once again running full tilt into the ever-deepening forest.

Soon the forest floor gives way to rocky outcroppings and steeper grades. He begins to climb with the same urgency that he was running with. Two hours later he is far above the tree line and sees that night is falling rapidly. He knows that he must find a safe place to hide soon. Another twenty minutes of climbing and he finds it; a small cave hidden among a couple of larger outcroppings. He peers carefully into the cave searching out anything that might have made a lair out of it. He sees nothing save for a few bats that are nervously eyeing him and sniffing the air he brought with him.

Crawling inside he finds that there is some room to stand in, although he still has to stoop slightly at the cave’s highest point. Looking back outside he sees the sky turning a bruised purple. Carefully he begins to undress. Once naked he folds his clothing in a corner and places some rocks on them as if to hide them. When he is done he just stands there in the middle of the cave naked and shivering as moonrise approaches.

Hopping from one foot to another to keep warm Henry keeps chanting “Remember the cave, Remember the cave, like a mantra. He hopes that the wolf’s mind will somehow cling to this idea and find it’s way back to the cave before sunrise when it, no he, will change back. He once awoke to find himself some fifty miles away from his then home. Henry doesn’t relish the thought of having to traipse fifty miles in the woods naked in the dead of winter with an angry village out for his blood. Still he repeats, “Remember the cave, Remember the ca…UGH!!” The first spasm knocks him to the ground. Pain runs through his leg as he pulls a shard of sharp rock from his knee. He throws the shard aside and watches the wound close over itself and heal almost instantly.

“Uff.” The next spasm knocks him forward. He can taste the copper of blood as it spreads across his tongue. He had bitten his lip again fighting the pain of the change. Now the pain come more urgently. Bones begin to shift and move, muscles thicken and swell. The pounding in Henry’s head is outmatched by the sickening cracking of his skull and jaw. Every pore of his body hurts and with the hurt comes the anger and rage of the beast. What begins as a yell of pain ends as a deep growl in the back of the throat of the animal. Soon Henry is in a dark tunnel and all is blackness.

Related Items


The following comments are for "The Cure"
by wrath186

Came over to have a look-see since you've been kind enough to read some of my stuff. The title has me intrigued to read more.

Some of the sentences read a little awkwardly, such as this one: "Better to be safe than sorry, he breaks into a full run hopping and jumping over logs and low lying brush to make his escape." Is the "better to be safe than sorry" a thought of his? I caught an "it's" when it should have been an "its", and " “Remember the cave, Remember the cave, like a mantra." needs a close quote. Last question is, though I suppose it's just a personal preference: why present tense? I've rarely used that because it allows for so little room for maneuvering.

Good writing, and I'll be back for the next installment. :)

( Posted by: Elphaba [Member] On: May 19, 2004 )

Guess I missed a few things before I posted this. I did think I got all the "its" corrected. Thanks for reading it. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I should have part 2 up in a couple of days.

( Posted by: wrath186 [Member] On: May 19, 2004 )

Good start, I'll read the rest
Wrath186, good start. I will read the next two installments to see how the story progresses.

A couple of comments, and only meant suggestions.

"It’s cold out and Henry is glad that the clouds that threatened" I think the first "that" could be left out. I've always heard if you can read the sentence without the "that" and it makes sense, then it's not necessary. There's a few you might can delete.

I agree about the commas. Not a real stickler on them myself, as I think I overuse, but it might make the story line a little clearly in a few spots.

"room to stand in" could probably be just room to stand.

Good intro! Thanks my man!

( Posted by: CaptainKeyboard [Member] On: May 27, 2004 )

Great story
Just wanted to stop by and read some of your newest creations. I really enjoyed this and will continue to read on!!!
Keep on writing, all your thoughts are intriguing and interesting to read.

( Posted by: Dolphingurrl [Member] On: June 4, 2004 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.