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9cheris621

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If I should wait a little while,
For you to turn to me.
If it should take a little time.
To wonder what could be.

Then wait I will, untill that time.
When you may start to bud.
Like spring but starting in the mind.
Waiting, trickle or flood.

For light so dim to wax in strength.
And cast it's light on me.
Your soul so thin, a wisp, within.
To wonder what could be.

And maybe when I value you,
you will value me.
And someday we will be as one.
As many long to be.

Too lost to shadows of the mind.
that darken every step.
afraid of even the most kind.
so long those souls have wept.

So come, I gently call to you.
So long I wait for this.
There is but little I can do.
I call your light you wisp....

And when you see what is to be.
will your heart still call?
For when it is you someday see.
your true self, after all.







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Comments

The following comments are for "to the lost."
by wally 5

to the lost
I enjoyed the solid structure and the ease of the fluid rhyme. Your point did not seemed forced, but found like perfect round stones on the shore. I like the contrast in the poem of the depth you have found in yourself and the depth you wish this other person to dive into, because you have captured the possiblity in your mind and desire them to do the same. Then you can share equally. Nice.

Cheris

( Posted by: cheris621 [Member] On: May 20, 2004 )

gentle
This poem touched my heart when I read it. I think partially because I know what you're describing. All it needs (to my mind) is some more colorful language and it would be amazing.

I like seeing gentle poetry on occassion. ;)

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: May 20, 2004 )

simple
I like this piece because of the simplicity of it...no fluff, but lots of emotion...good work yet again...
Reba

( Posted by: Reba [Member] On: May 21, 2004 )

Good Job, Wally
Nice and flowing - The political and social overtones are somewhat etched in and may seem contrived. In general, its really good. I enjoyed it.

( Posted by: the demure 1 [Member] On: May 23, 2004 )

Ignore 'em!
This poem is fine as it is, Wally (maybe an extra syllable in the last line of the second stanza, but maybe not). Ignore cried for you to add "more colourful language"! One of its strengths is its simplicity and directness. The language works wonderfully just the way you use it.

You know, if you're not a published poet already, I don't know why the hell not.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: June 22, 2004 )





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