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Images mirror hate
real or fake

paper wars
monochrome whores

in the sacred name
of profit's shame

if truth isn't dead
it's mortally wounded.

In five hundred years time, most of us will be forgotten dust. But Hitler will still be remembered, God loves irony.

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The following comments are for "Raw II"
by Ogg

raW sI lleH
A fittning addition to "Raw". I REALLY REALLY REALLY liked the last stanza.

May you never thirst


( Posted by: Enforced Bliss [Member] On: May 20, 2004 )

it definitely is!
I really enjoy how much is conveyed in such a short piece. May I ask is the fact that "raw" is "war" spelled backwards has anything to do with the content of this poem? I ask because it seems you are referring to media coverage of world events, how religion has become a gun in global politics and how some things are portrayed in the most twisted manner to appeal to certain audiences.
If not, forget I said anything!
But i found this poem to be very powerful - good job!

( Posted by: blightedstar [Member] On: May 20, 2004 )

Broadstroking in Short Span
You sure cover a multitude of thoughts in such short lines! I liked it.

But, it appears you were trying to rhyme, but just didn't. And for having missed, the difference wasn't far enough apart to appear purposely constructed. I think one way or the other would have been best for this work.

( Posted by: MaxiiJ [Member] On: May 20, 2004 )

I definitely agree with Elliot. I think it compliments the first piece well and the last stanza...awesome! =D

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: May 20, 2004 )

Thanks all
for taking time to comment. My worry is that images in our paper 'The Mirror', are probably faked and any editor would be duped into believing otherwise, chances are, he wasn't. Truth has received a good many shattering blows in the past, but the coup de grace is about to be, or has already been delivered. That fact and fiction are so difficult to separate is very scary.

( Posted by: Ogg [Member] On: May 20, 2004 )

I Dunno Max
I rather liked the way that he bookended it with two near-rhymes (stanzas 1 and 4 are near rhymes and stanzas 2 and 3 are true rhymes) - particularly the last stanza.

"if truth isn't dead /it's mortally wounded."

Wounded and dead are near rhymes and if you are "mortaly wounded" couldn't you be said to be near dead? In addition when he speaks of the questionable vitality of truth he doesn't use a true rhyme but a verisimilar one.

I don't think it was a "miss" so much as putting a bullet straight through the preceeding one's hole - too accuraste for the effect to be immediately seen.

May you never thirst


( Posted by: Enforced Bliss [Member] On: May 21, 2004 )

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