cultures
by Terayne (Member) - published: May 12, 2004
Word Count: 72 Word Bytes: 491 Viewed: 533 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by Terayne

(1 votes)

Rating	Rated by

9	MaxiiJ

You must login to vote

In times gone by
and days long past
I see a world
that has grown too fast.

Civilizations have come and gone;
they rose and fell, yet carried on.

So what do we do when cultures fade?
Read a book, learn what they made?

Ancient ways are still about
with living people, have no doubt.

So, when time goes by
and years have passed
will we see our world
cannot last?

------
"The path to enlightenment is paved in suffering....

Related Items

Awakening..

More by Terayne »

Comments

The following comments are for "cultures"
by Terayne

Uh . . . "yes?"
Don't we already? I'm no good at rhetorical questions.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: May 14, 2004 )

Check the flow...
All poetry is subjective, and I know there is no hard and fast "rule" about meter and flow in all poetry, but I think the bounce from two stanzas to four in what you've begun to structure weakens its power (just a little bit.) If you're trying to achieve a rhymed meter, then do that. Or, choose a truly free flowing poetic proes. This seems to me to slip between those cracks, and that makes it sound off no matter how I say it.

If you read it out loud, do you like it as well as if you read it silently. Sometimes I hear my mistakes if I do that and compare them.

( Posted by: MaxiiJ [Member] On: May 14, 2004 )

I agree
I should have took another look before submitting, my apologies, I'm not much of a poet and I know it(sorry, the rhyming thing and all)but as far as stanzas and rhyming schemes, I'm not too good with that. I used to be--13 years ago, but raising three children and bending backwards for my wife's happiness(and I'm only 28) I think I really lost my touch, but I humbly appreciate your comments; without them, one does not know their faults and cannot grow from them, so again, thank you for taking the time to read it at all.

( Posted by: Terayne [Member] On: May 15, 2004 )

Who's a Poet?
Terayne - you have written a decent poem therefore, you are a poet working on perfecting the art in your calling. Expression is 99% of being a poet, and you have that. The Art of CRAFTING a poem is the last 1%, but without it, our work is incomplete. Just keep working. I wrote my best at the dinner table listening to our boys argue and their dad trying to intervene! Or, on the "throne!" Take your opportunities where you get them and then run with the ball toward any goal in sight! You're bound to win one someday!

( Posted by: MaxiiJ [Member] On: May 15, 2004 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Login:
Password: