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_Four Lambs_

I saw four lambs today
Frolicking on a tree stump;
The mortal reminder of a giant oak
That once claimed dominion over this pasture.
It has done it's time;
Served it's sentence,
And now it has been set free from it's firmament;
Released -- by the-hatchet man.

I saw four lambs today
Frolicking on a tree stump;
Leaping over and under,
Pushing and dodging,
Playing their game of King of the Stump
To see which lamb will last the longest.

So I wonder: Which lamb will last the longest,
When their hatchet-man comes?

Spudley Strikes Again

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The following comments are for "Four Lambs"
by Spudley

What a chilling raised the hair on the back of my neck...not a typical "spud" at all, but excellent in my view!

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: May 8, 2004 )

Really brings out the theme of mortality using the tree and the sheep. Interestin!!

( Posted by: broken [Member] On: May 8, 2004 )

What can I say but, "Praise The Lord" for a magnificient piece of work. This was brilliant said SPud.

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: May 8, 2004 )

The button snapped itself and sent the comment, before I could even finish, anyways, I was saying that this was a brilliant piece of work and I loved it very much. Thanks for this, I enjoyed reading it.


( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: May 8, 2004 )

I enjoyed this poem very much. Very thought provoking. Thank you.

( Posted by: everybodyelsesgirl [Member] On: May 8, 2004 )

Fair question. My answer: The one in the freezer.

( Posted by: MaxiiJ [Member] On: May 8, 2004 )

Mr Spudley
MAn,, that was really good..but your work is always beyond the need of an eraser,,

( Posted by: coco [Member] On: May 8, 2004 )

dead lambs
crrrrreepy, spud.

please, please, please change it's to its when you're using it in a his/hers/its kinda way?

a real surprise at the end. you kind of turned my mind inside out. which is good for it.


( Posted by: ark [Member] On: May 9, 2004 )

Cool stuff
I really liked this poem. Well-written (with the exception of "it's" instead of "its" throughout), and thought-provoking. I'd like more options, though! Must one be either of these lambs?

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: May 10, 2004 )

Wow. This one generated a lots of response.

The main theme I'm picking up here is that I've creeped you all out. Ummm.... sorry about that :-}

Ark & Viper - I can't believe I did that. It isn't like that on my original notes, and I'm often the first to complain about it in other people's writing, so I'm quite mortified that I've done it not once but three times in a single poem. No excuse. Mia cupla. I guess I need to get my eraser out after all. :-)

MaxiiJ - hahaha. :-D Good answer.

To all, whether you liked it or not, thank you for your thoughts. Much appreciated. :-)

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: May 11, 2004 )

like your stuff, most of it. this is nice. but you have to get your punctuation and grammar straight or people will dismiss you out of hand. "it's" means "it is". "its" is a possessive, like "i touched its golden mammoth head that frothed and roared" (the iliad - not like i just spout these things - it's right here, i've been rereading it). it is important, like my line spacing (remember?)

all good things


( Posted by: mercer102 [Member] On: June 5, 2004 )

The Lamb
gave me the creeps, scary, if I will over-read it it will scare me death, mortality, and apocalypse.

that may not be part of what you intended, but it's scary if you think about human frailty, and the certainty of death.

( Posted by: webguy [Member] On: June 9, 2004 )

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