Me vs. Me
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(Extreme violence and gore.)
I couldn't be more excited. The football game is about to start and I'm about to dig into my favorite meal. I have a triple bacon cheeseburger with extra mayo, a large box of double fried fries, a super duper, kidney-buster soda and a full fat hot fudge sundae.
As I remove the pack of cigarettes from my tit pocket and sit back on the couch, I'm on top of the world, that is, until I notice the sparkling knife and fork that are resting on the wooden coffee table beside my meal. I don't recall bringing those from the kitchen and I can't think of a single reason why I would. I certainly won't use them to eat a burger and fries.
"Hmmm," I think and decide to drop them in the dishwasher.
"God only knows how long they've been sitting here," I say, but as the silverware touches my hands I feel a strange sensation pass over me. My right hand grips the fork and my left hand clutches the steak knife in way that nearly make me forget about the delicious goodness of my upcoming meal.
I tell my hands to let go of the objects, but they refuse to obey. It is like my hands have developed minds of their own.
"What the hell is going on here?" I question aloud with my ass still firmly planted on the couch. As I notice my hands beginning to shake, I realize that I can no longer feel them. It is as if they've been chopped off at the wrist.
Then, my right hand lunges at my face and the steely prongs of the fork digs deep into my cheek while moving in a downward path. I start screaming as my knife hand attacks my leg. The serrated utensil cuts through my jeans and into the meaty flesh of my thigh. The pain causes my foot to kick out, and my drink shoots across the room. 108 ounces of caramel colored beverage stain my wall.
"Owwww!" I scream as the fork withdrawals from my face. It wavers in front of my face like a cobra that is about to attack. Then, in a quick jab it pokes my nose causing me to yelp in pain.
I stare down at the knife that is chopping up my leg and then back to the hand that taunts me with the fork and I realize that I am defenseless against these traitorous hands.
I begin to fear that the knife my go for my crotch or that the fork would attack my eyes, but thankfully they choose other tactics. The fork digs into my scalp and it begins to twirl my hair as if it were spaghetti. With each new twist, hair is yanked mercilessly from head.
The knife has decided to go for my heart, and it cuts into my chest. Unfortunately, my breastbones protect this major organ and my torture continues. The knife cuts flesh and blood squirts from my chest as it tries to saw through my bones, but it is painfully unsuccessful.
Oddly, I notice that a large amount of my blood has splashed onto my burger's bun, but it still looks appetizing to me.
Then the fork comes down from my head and wavers before my face again. It's silvery talons are entwined with my hair, which only makes it more terrifying.
"Please, finish me. I can't take this," I beg the fork with all of my heart and it responds with a deadly assault on my mouth. Like lightening, it bolts through my lips, past my teeth and it embeds itself in the back of my throat. The utensil's metal taste fills my mouth, but it is quickly washed away by the acrid taste of my own blood.
Red fluid bubbles and sprays from my mouth with each new moan, and the knife decides to show me some mercy. It leaves my exposed rib cage and plunges into my stomach. In a frenzied dance, it hacks at my intestines, stomach and liver like a cancer.
However, enough of me has been destroyed that my life is failing. As I topple forward, my face collapses into the crunchy bed of fries, and the hot oil they were cooked in delivers my meal's final shot of pain.
While I wait for my life to end, I wonder what the people who find me will think? Will they know the dangers of my knife and fork? Will they be able to avoid them? Or at some point will they fall prey as well?
"Oh well," I think. As everything begins to fade, I notice that my mouth has filled with the flavor of fries.
If you have no questions or fears about your abilities, then you will learn nothing from your mistakes and know nothing about your limitations.