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It was a dark night, Dr.Naue was examining an asteroid in orbit of the planet Yekin.

"It's only a matter of time now"

Meanwhile, on the other side of the planet, a young boy named Tyfer was playing Whaga, a sport were you have to find the most balls and return them to your side to win. As he played he had no idea what while happen to his planet in a matter of days. When he returned home, he found his house in ruins. He looked around for any sign of his family. He found a peice of Galactic Layt armor on the front porch. He knew what this was but he didnt want to do it. He continued to walk around, then he stoped dead in his tracks. He found to freshly torn up bodies of his parents. Just then he heard a crack behide him. Tyfer pulled out his blaster that his dad gave him for his birthday. The crack turned into a click and then he turned around and fired on shot. The blaster shot peirced the trooper's body. Shot after shot peirced right through his armor. He knew that he couldnt last forever because reinforcments where on the way. So he hopped in the persons land speeder and shot off towards Dr.Naue's lab.

Naue stepped outside and met the rush of cold snow. He cound see the asteroid coming down. Then he heard the sound of a speeder coming. 5 minutes later, Tyfer hopped out and ran to Naue.

"Dr.Naue, Galactic Layt troopers have killed my family and are coming this way!"

Continued Later

Welcoming To My World...

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The following comments are for "Star Gazer"
by kickflip

It is amazing to see how far you have come kickflip. You writing ability has improved significantly. This isn't a bad start to a story. I would recommend that you slow down and put in more details. A lot has gone on in that paragraph, enough to make it a 800 to 1000 word story if not more.

For instance, you tell us Tyler is young. Is he white or black? Tall or short? Does he have zits? Maybe he has an annoying habit of sucking on his bottom lip. It is these types of details and descriptions that make stories/characters interesting and believable.

Like I said, I see a tremendous amount of improvement in your writing. Keep it up. At this rate, you'll one of the brightest stars of in no time.

Good Job,


( Posted by: Richard Dani [Member] On: February 16, 2002 )

Thankx, I'll tell more about Tyfer in part 2 well thankx again.

( Posted by: kickflip [Member] On: February 20, 2002 )

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