I'm hoping for cancer. I pray for some sort of heart defect. I want to die. Slow or painful, fast and over. I don't care. I want an end.
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I'm so unhappy. Loving people who will never ove me back. People surround me, yet I'm so alone. So lonely for sometime now. I hate being in a place and so alone.
Looking in the mirror, I want to scratch my eyes out. Send long bloody lines downward on my face. Maybe this will be an improvement. I feel so ugly and repulsive. Why do I have such self hate?
I long for that look. That smile, that embrace. I feel as if it's lost forever. ANd it is replaced by your distaste. I see your looks, I feel your dispair, as you see me terrible face.
I feel so hard for you. Not fighting hard enough. This heart has known such devistation. I really thought you would be different.
Now I am trapped. You grow inside me. I feel you often now. Doubt of what will spring from me into this world. I am not sure what is expected of this journey. Maybe my absense is what will make you great.
I am so lost and hopeless. Death....oh is sounds so great. Am I dead inside? Will I ever be revived? Help is surely on the rise?
My life, I have loved, I have cried, and now I must bit my good-bye.