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I sit and fiddle with lost thoughts of uncertainty
A beautiful sence of crimson lust floats about my head
Thoughts of killing time
It flounders above me
For if it would only hold still
Forever, a form of perfection would remain
In my mind, filling my body and soul
With the pain, with the newfound strength
To make it on
And after time has repeaced itself
I too, am able to rebuild


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The following comments are for "Reassembled"
by NeurotickupkakE

Nice short and to the point nice work Tammy girl!

( Posted by: LovesEssence [Member] On: May 3, 2004 )

But I think this one is a bit too abstract for my tastes ;) Just one hombre's opinion, though. The parallels of your speaker and time both reassembling is a strong one, I just think you need to flesh it out a little - make it more concrete and definate. Oh, and a couple spelling mistakes (sence, repeaced), but nobody's perfect. Keep writing *thumbs up*


( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: May 3, 2004 )

Strangedaze and LovesEssence...
Thank you, I usually either get straight to the point when I write, or I drag things out for a very long time, I've made it almost a goal, heh.
And thank you for pointing out my spelling errors, I'm a really bad English student, really I am ^_^ I try, what can I say?
Thanks both of you though, you're my first steps to correcting and refinishing my stuff. Thanks Again..

( Posted by: NeurotickupkakE [Member] On: May 3, 2004 )

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