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I like to go down to the Toys R' Us at Christmas time. I dress all up in my Santa suit. I get a big bag of Candy Canes and head out.

Once I arrive, it's great to see the kids coming in and out of the store. They get so excited when they see me. I wait until I have a big crowd of them gathered around me, yelling what they want for Christmas, while sucking on Candy Canes. Then I fake a big heart attack and fall to the ground.

At first the older kids think its a joke and laugh uncomfortably. I lye still. The young kids usually start to cry as their parents realize what I'm doing and drag them away. But, it's too late, they already know, Santa Claus is dead...

Being mean is funny.

It wasn't my fault...I fell asleep and missed my stop.

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The following comments are for "Santa Claus is dead"
by Jeff



( Posted by: Beckett Grey [Member] On: February 9, 2002 )

At first, when I read this small bit of humor, I found it rather mean. Then, once I thought about it some more, I found it to be a rather interesting stunt. There's nothing wrong with believing in Santa Claus....the problem lies with the child believing in the physical existance of a Santa Claus, who benevolently hands out gifts to children that are likely already spoiled and bogged down with more toys than they need or actually want to play with.

I am 26 years old, and I believe in Santa Claus. Not the fat hairy bastard in the cheesy red suit. I believe in the spirit of Santa Claus. To give from the heart, to be with family and friends, and for once, try and be nice to one another, for one day out of the year. Kudos to Jeff. Death to the shopping plaza Santa. Death to them all.

( Posted by: IceQueen [Member] On: February 10, 2002 )

Evil is as Evil Does
It's interesting, I guess true meaning really is in the mind of the reader. Maybe on some subconcious level, I intended everything you said, but when writing it...I really just thought it was funny.

Thanks for your input, it kind of blew my mind.


( Posted by: Jeff [Member] On: February 10, 2002 )

Allow me to clarify
I've found out the hard way that enclosing something within 'greater than - less than' brackets renders it invisible when posted. My message should have read (above the hideous laughter)

*Sets his army of demonaic children (see A Midwinter Dream) on Jeff*

( Posted by: Beckett Grey [Member] On: February 10, 2002 )


( Posted by: Jeff [Member] On: February 10, 2002 )

re: Huh?
Jeff, if you're confused by the above statement, could you at least make some effort to tell me what part of it confuses you?

'Huh?' just doesn't help...

( Posted by: Beckett Grey [Member] On: February 10, 2002 )

Huh? Confused
What I'm saying is I have no idea what your comments mean. I don't know if you liked the little thing, or if you are being sarcastic.

It's sometimes hard to tell if someone is laughing, sarcastically, like "HA HA Very Funny" while rolling their eyes (as my wife sometimes does) or genuinely laughing, as in "Ha Ha Ha, I damn near pissed my pants on that one!" Then when you made further comments, I'm afraid they went over my head. As you can see from my comments to the IceQueen, I'm not very deep...or very smart. Think sixth grade level. No innuendos, I'll probably miss the point. Sorry.

( Posted by: Jeff [Member] On: February 10, 2002 )

re: confused
I'm afraid you overthunk it, Jeff.

When I'd finished reading this story, the only thing I could think of was 'what if the malicious, teeth-gnashing devil-children in A Midwinter Dream came upon you, lying on the sidewalk in your Santa suit. I'm afraid you've mistaken my mad ramblings for useful commentary. My apologies.

( Posted by: Beckett Grey [Member] On: February 10, 2002 )

Mad Ramblings

It's good to know it was just me. It usually is. It's also good to know that when it comes to "Mad Ramblings" I'm not alone. Usually after my ramblings, I'm the one getting friends responses such as "huh?" or the ever famous "interesting...well I gotta get going..." followed by the look someone gives a person in a straight jacket as they tell them to open up, gently placing the medication on their tongue.

Okay...I might have taken it a little too far, but you get the idea...or?

( Posted by: Jeff [Member] On: February 10, 2002 )

re: Mad Ramblings
I get the idea.

"Yeah, sure...uh, great idea. I completely follow you. I'm...just going to go make a phone call now." *Backing slowly away*

I've gotten that a few times myself.

( Posted by: Beckett Grey [Member] On: February 10, 2002 )

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