Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

Breathing...
Just the sounds of being alive
Feeling the same thing
Out of reality, it seems

Just the sounds of our breathing
Together as one
Let's me know it's more than a dream

With my head on your chest
I can hear your heart
The warmth of a smile lights up my face
Your heart is beating for me
And mine for only you

I'm spinning
In sweat drenched clothes
And dirty blankets
But we don't care

We don't even need the drugs
Just to hold your hand in mine
Our bodies pressed together
Just to hear your breathing

You make me feel so connected

My teeth shiver and my skin quivers
Wanting to be so close
Has never scared me so much before



Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Breathing"
by xnumbxlovex

deep breaths
this is a really good piece...I particularly liked the 'I'm spinning' stanza...for some reason, the last line didn't speak to me as loudly as the rest...I think I'd prefer it to end on a more contented note...but that's just me :)...well done.
Reba

( Posted by: Reba [Member] On: April 26, 2004 )

I agree....
I agree about the last line. I wasn't sure how to end it, so I just left it like that. I'm not satisfied with that and am planning to edit it soon.

( Posted by: xnumbxlovex [Member] On: April 28, 2004 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: