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7

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7Spudley

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I'd swallow the skies,
but since I'm here
with you,
choking on memories
waiting on empty highways
lying in empty hallways
sniffing the glue
between us...

I'm only human;
sometimes I'm sick,
sometimes I drink too much...
honey,
would you pass me
the cup of
hemlock
please?

------
Stille


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Comments

The following comments are for "World of glass"
by Dew Of Blood

alternating
This poem seems to alternate between some really good bits and some .. uh... not so good bits..

There were some really good lines - "sniffing the glue between us", for example, was a very clever connection of concepts.

But I also found there were bits that just left me flat. "I'm only human" ... hmm, I'm sorry, but it just rang of cliche to me.

Overall, scores a 7, because the good bits were very good, but I think it needs a few tweaks.

Sorry :-}

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: April 29, 2004 )





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