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TAKE ME DOWN INTO YOUR GRAVE AND BREATH LIFE INTO ME FIND MY LOST SOUL AND BANISH THE COLD .
YOUR KISS MY IMMORTAL LOVER ONLY YOU CAN SAVE ME YOUR KISS OF DEATH IS WHAT I NEED.
PULL ME DOWN AND LET THE BLOOD FLOWINTO YOU RETURN IT TO ME AND SHARE OUR DESTINY
FOLLOW ME DOWN INTO THE DARKNESS SINK IN THE ICY BLACK,YOUR WORLD I LONG FOR.
YOUR KISS MY IMMORTAL, TAKE ME DOWN INTO YOUR GRAVE AND BREATH LIFE INTO ME.
INTERTWINED GIVE ME YOUR KISS OF DEATH AND DROWN IN THE DARKNESS.



------
RAYVEN SILVER



Comments

The following comments are for "IMMORTAL LOVER"
by RAYVENSILVER

Whoa
Easy on the caps there, Killer. ; )

( Posted by: Schaard [Member] On: April 26, 2004 )

:(
Well first of all, everybody gets heard on lit.org . No need to scream or CapsLock ;)

Now, about what you wrote. I'm really unsure about this piece...It doesn't seem to be able to fuel emotion or express any new, interesting idea.But now, the first poems I published in here were even worse(glad I deleted them). So what I'd advise you would be to keep writing, but try to express your actual emotions and leave the vampire stuff alone. It's damn hard to write good vampire poetry, you know...And don't worry, you won't betray Goth by leaving this subject alone

Stille - Fellow angst-Gothic writer

( Posted by: Dew Of Blood [Member] On: April 26, 2004 )





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