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crimson haze
drunken rage
shattered recollection, vague

single word
phrase misheard
what was it that had occurred

crimson haze
nauseous daze
throbbing pain returns today

bloodied jeans
shattered dreams
hide the body, flee the scene

crimson haze
house ablaze
drink to make it go away

of all misfortune, the worst kind of fate is to have been happy.

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The following comments are for "last night"
by ochimusha

agreeing with Claire
Yes. A very strong poem that sucks the reader into a tuly disturbing vision. One of the best uses of rhyme and meter I have seen in a long while.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: April 17, 2004 )

It is a poem that certainly punches its meaning home. Or rather smack bang in your face. It affected me in the way I think it was intended: profoundly and bluntly. Nice one.

( Posted by: C.Lynagh [Member] On: April 17, 2004 )

very good work ,,thanks for sharing

( Posted by: CoCo [Member] On: April 17, 2004 )

im happy you all enjoyed it so much! i actually wrote this a few years ago; i had completely forgotten about it, but found it scrawled on a wad of paper in a boxful of memories i was looking through this weekend. i wasnt sure at first if it would be well received, but for whatever reason i felt the urge to share it. im glad i did! thanks

( Posted by: ochimusha [Member] On: April 18, 2004 )

Powerful and creepy
Two words I never thought I'd put together but they best describe this powerful yet quite scary piece. Well done.

( Posted by: amethyst [Member] On: April 18, 2004 )

Simple Wisdom
WEll Ochi......this one does it. You should probably have a restraining order put against me on this website. I think you have an amazing capacity to share and show so much of what is the summation of the human condition. Your words are destined to be written. You capture what I have felt/feel/ or am feeling. The choice of tone is so brilliant and yet your message is just as strong. The title on this one made me smile, perfect title. You can never go wrong in anything you write. I do notice that I find balled up poems lying in weird places: written on a napkin, a reciept, a post it:-)

Your words are always reflective and impart a certain simple wisdom, an old but strong soul teaching what has been learned in past lives to the lost ones in the present........


( Posted by: johnb79 [Member] On: July 4, 2004 )

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