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Who lives inside this body,the one I now call home.
So many many spaces,so many empty rooms.
Ones once filled with laughter,joy,zest,a thrill for life.
Seem to have traded places with sadness,pain and strife.

Days of work and wonder that made my life complete.
They've disappeared behind the walls,at times peak out at me.
I see them in the shadows, a darkness, just a hue.
tiny little glimpses of someone I once knew.

As darkness turns to morning,I start another day.
I try to find that person,the one that went away.
I wish I knew where she's gone ,how she could be found.
But she's not coming back,she's moved on to unknown ground.

Awaken in the morning,I can't move my hands.
My hips and feet refuse to meet the task that I demand.
But I'll trod on this path of pain,though I don't understand.
For there are others also, that live within this land.

They smile through the teardrops,prod on against the load.
Beauty in the Ashes, tender heartfelt souls.
Bring comfort to the weary,and a hand to hold.
Strength within my weakness,coloring my woes.
Brighten up the shadows,help me forget the pain.
Pertty painted rainbows, among this monsoon rain.

------
Lorraine


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Comments

The following comments are for "Solace"
by lorraine

Solace
For years I've lived with chronic illness. This poem was written for others that deal with this kind of surroundings daily. There are so many wonderful people that come into your life.Those that offer friendship and those that offer love and concern. This was written to try and give a small picture of what goes on in the heart of someone that daily loses parts of themselves to crippling ilnesses. It was intended to bring understanding and an eye into my soul of the struggle...My Best..lorraine

( Posted by: lorraine [Member] On: April 19, 2004 )

Solace
Lorraine
,
The feeling behind your poetry is beautiful and I like it a lot.

It appears that you struggle to keep the rhyme flowing and have difficulty with puntuation and spelling. I was aching to take this and rewrite it in your own words to express what I mean.
This is not a criticism of the piece you have a poets heart, such minor alterations would make this amazing.

I wish you luck and will try to look out for your future work.

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: May 1, 2004 )

Solaace Revisited.
Lorraine,

I have just revisited my comments on this piece. I think I must have been tired when I first read it. I am sorry I sounded so critical.

It is truly an amazing piece with real feeling. It is only the lack of spaces after commas that had thrown me and probably the second line of the second verse that only you could revise into rhyme with your own meaning.

I was not implying that I could do a better job, as my comments indeed read to me, only to say that the poem had moved me so much I wanted to embrace it fully.
Thank you, once again for an insight into the pain and struggling born by many.

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: May 3, 2004 )

Very enjoyable poem.
Lorraine, i can totally relate to this piece, as i too have struggled with long-term chronic illness. Although i found parts of this did not flow well for me, i really enjoyed it. It brought back a few memories for me. Well done and hope to read more of your work soon.

All the best,
Doughnut.

( Posted by: doughnut [Member] On: May 9, 2004 )





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