Authors note: Foul language ahead...
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"What's going on here?" the officer said as he got out of his car. "I got here as quick as I could, but I had a hard time finding the place."
Carl looked at Dan, then back to the cop. "What do you mean? We didn't call you, nothings going on."
"You guys been fighting or something?" The cop flipped the little safety strap off his gun as looked them over cautiously.
"Whoa now, hold on a minute. You got this all wrong officer." Dan stepped back with his hands out, pleading... "We can explain everything, this is nothing, it's just a joke, really, we..."
"Stay where you are! No more sudden moves." The cops hand rested on the butt of his revolver.
"I don't believe this!" Carl stammered. "We were just playing a joke on our friend inside. Nobody called you!"
"Someone called and said two people had disappeared. You guys are both covered in blood and look like you've been in a fight. How about we have a look inside?" The cop motioned them to the door and told them to open it.
"Hey, no problem, Ben's in there. He's the one we were playing the joke on. He'll understand when we tell him about it, he'll straighten this out."
The three of them went inside. It was still pretty dark in there as the cardboard still covered the windows. However, the bright morning sun spilling through the open door illuminated the scene well enough...
Ben was slumped over sideways on the couch. Sitting in front of him was an empty bottle of JD and a burned out candle. Beside him, laying in his open hand was a cell phone. The officer knelt beside Ben and reached for his arm, checking his pulse. He stood back up and looking at Carl and Dan said, "He's dead."
Carl was stunned beyond words and his knees weakened to the point that he fell on his ass. Dan Wobbled on his feet as well, and stared at his friend incredulously. "No fucking way! What the hell is this shit! This isn't right! This wasn't supposed to happen! Oh my god Carl, what the hell have we done!" Dan burst into a hysterical crying fit as he mourned his friends death. "I can't believe this..."
"Believe it guys. If he sat there and drank that whole bottle of JD it's probably liquor poisoning. His body size is to small to absorb that amount of booze." The cop still stood next to Ben's lifeless body. Then, looking back at him he said, "Dumb ass kids," and kicked Ben in the leg.
Dan saw what the cop had done and shouted at him. "What the hell did you do that for?"
"What, you mean this?" the cop said as he kicked Ben in the leg again and chuckled...
Dan couldn't absorb what he was seeing. There stood a cop kicking he dead friend in the leg and laughing about it. "Quit it. Stop doing that to him. Your some kind of a sicko or something..."
"Who me?" Asked the cop. "I'm a sicko for kicking him when you guys let your pal drink himself to death? Hell, even if he wasn't dead, he wouldn't feel me kicking him with all that liquor in his blood." The cop looked back at Ben and once again, kicked his leg and said, "Dumb ass kids!"
Dan stared at the cop with rage building in his mind as Carl pulled himself from the floor. "Sick bastard," Carl said. "Quit kicking him! He's fucking dead, can't you see that, and it's our fault!"
"What's that boys? Were you wanting to make a little confession here?" The cop pulled his gun from it's holster and waved it around carelessly.
The rage Dan had felt fled him and was replaced with a mounting fear. "Are you out of your mind! Quit aiming that gun at us! We didn't kill anyone! We were out side most the night. We didn't know what Ben was doing in here!"
"What were you doing out there that made your friend drink himself to death?" Asked the cop.
"It was just supposed to be a joke! He did it to us all the time. We were just trying to scare him, that's all!" Carl sounded like he was pleading for his life.
"Scared him to death hu? Sounds like murder to me. Up against the wall, both of you! Hands behind your heads!" The crazed cop stopped waving his gun around aimlessly and pointed it directly at them.
Carl peed his pants. "Oh my god! He's going to shoot us Dan!"
"Shut up kid. You'll just make it harder on yourself. I've about had it with all the dumb ass kids in this world. I've about had it with head banging music, silly ass low rider cars with no springs that jar your kidneys loose, and dumb ass practical jokes. I think it's time to send a message. And I'm going to be the post man!"
"You can't do this!" cried Dan. "We have rights! You're a fucking nut case! You can't get away with something like this!" They both had their heads pressed against the wall opposite the couch with their eyes squeezed shut.
"Of course I can. I get a call to come to a residence with some sort of domestic dispute. I find a dead man inside and two suspects outside covered with blood. They resist arrest, so I punch their ticket. Open and shut. Period."
"You can't just shoot us in the back!" yelled Carl.
"Oh. Yeah, you have a point there. Guess you had better turn around." The cop ordered.
Neither Dan or Carl moved.
"I SAID TURN AROUND!"
They heard the cocking of the cops gun. Reluctantly they turned around. And there, calmly sitting on the couch with his fingers intertwined and his elbows on his knees was Ben, watching their reaction with great interest.
"BEN!" yelled Carl and Dan in harmony. Their jaws dropped open and they stared at their smiling friend. "What in the hell is going on here? You're not dead?" asked Dan in confusion.
"Nope. This is my uncle, he's a cop in town. Hey Carl, you piss yourself again?"
"Hi guys," The cop said. "I guess you're right Ben, they are amateurs. Well, it's been fun! I gotta get back to work." As the cop headed out the door, leaving Carl and Dan dumbfounded, you could hear him chanting all the way to the car... Ben's a dick, Ben's a dick..."