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4.5

(2 votes)


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3A. Cain
6chapter1

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Take my hand
Letís fly away,
Go away
Away from here.

Letís ride the smoke,
Forget our miseries,
Letís paint the sky
Of psychedelic hues.

Close your eyes
And forget the pain,
Letís fly away
Away from here.

Take my hand
Letís fly away.
Close your eyes
And drift away.



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Comments

The following comments are for "Pseudopsychedelic trip"
by DeadPoet1001

needs fleshing out
Well it was a bit of pseudo-psychadelic trip. The title drew me in but I felt it needed some more descriptive verse. It seems incomplete and doesn't draw me along too far on the trip. We just took off and you circled around to land again. Very pseudo-psychadelic. Flesh it out, ride the dragon, draw on those emotions and describe whatever comes to mind and it could still take you places.

Smithy

( Posted by: smithy [Member] On: April 16, 2004 )





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