Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(1 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

Here's the deal. I'm calling this, "What's my line," but it really doesn't matter. What you do is write a story around 800 to 1000 words. The story has to include a line provided by whoever, in this case, me. The line can appear anywhere in your story, but it has to appear in the same exact form as it is presented. That is all.

The line to be included in your story (if you write one) is as follows...

"I'd rather try to extinguish all the fires in hell with a squirt gun, but I happen to have an opening in my schedule and I could probably fit that in."

Have at it!
The Hal

Here's my attempt...

What's my line: "The Mason Line" (1010 words)

I was being followed. He was good, but not good enough. Of course, it's hard to be stealthy when you have a big green feather planted in your hat.

I wandered in and out among the merchant booths, speeding up a little, trying to loose my shadow. The smell of roast mountain beast and cavern snake floated in the smoke filled air.

I had been living this reality line for several years. I liked it here, and 'The Others' seemed to have lost track of me. Up until now that is...

The town was celebrating the arrival of spring, colorful banners hung from the booths and minstrels played their instruments while wandering through the crowds. Dancers in festive clothing followed in their wake raising clouds of dust. When a passing troupe of horn blowers distracted my follower, I took a quick left in between two closed booths, lifted the tarp on the side of one of them and slipped inside.

I rarely used my high tech stuff here, but neither did I want to be caught unprepared, so I had my stunner out to be safe. It's too bad, I had become quite fond of this reality. Nice and simple, friendly people, a nice place to retire in I thought. Maybe I'll get lucky and green feather will get run over by a stampeding herd of wild woolies. I could see him frantically searching the crowd for me through a seam in the booths animal hide covering.

He was just standing there, looking back and forth, back and forth, back and... Damn! A voice spoke behind me...

"Enjoying your self Mason? Forgot about the Fake Jake didn't you?"

I turned around and faced my stalker. "I didn't forget about them. Looks like the techies have made a few improvements on them though. Their not transparent like they used to be." The Fake Jake was simply a holographic image of the user, preprogrammed to perform in whatever manner he chose.

"Nope, sure aren't. You'll notice I have a cutter aimed at your gut, slice and dice is my motto. It's time to come back Mason. Your retirement has been cancelled. I've got a shield up so you might as well put that stunner away."

"A personal, single unit body shield too? I'm impressed." I holstered my stunner.

"'The Others' have specifically asked for you."

"Fuck 'The Others', fuck them all. Except six of them, and they can be the pallbearers..."

"Look Mason, I've got a list and you're at the top of it. If you refuse to come back, I just cross your name off and work my way down the list, understand?"

"Fine" I replied. "Cross me out and go find someone else's reality to fuck up. I'm just as retired now as I was when they gave you the list."

"I see. Well there is one thing I failed to mention Mason. In order to be crossed off the list, you have to be dead. And seeing as you're alive at the moment, that would require that I terminate your sorry ass before I cross you out. Now that I have that little oversight cleared up, what do you say? Are you going to honor The Others request or not?"

"I'd rather try to extinguish all the fires in hell with a squirt gun, but I happen to have an opening in my schedule and I could probably fit that in."

"I thought you'd see it my way. My Transferal pad is cloaked out side of town. It'll handle us both at the same time. Let's move it Mason, I get a bonus if I bring in the man at the top of the list. It's in my contract."

"My my, the techies have been on the ball haven't they? My transferal pad doesn't have a cloaker. You know we aren't allowed to leave technology behind. We'll have to make a side trip to my humble abode and retrieve it along with a few other items I wouldn't want falling into the wrong hands."

"Sure thing Mason, just don't try pulling any fast ones, I've got the cutter, and if I have to carry your parts back in a jar, that would suit me just fine. A Mason jar! Ha ha! Get it Mason?"

I led the way out of the vendors booth and into the crowd of merry makers. They were living it up and I couldn't blame them. Springtime here was glorious. They deserved to cut loose before the spring planting.

The crowds thinned as we reached the outskirts of town. My little wooden shack sat up off the road in an open field. If that ass didn't quit poking me in the ribs with the cutter, he wouldn't have to worry about shooting me, I would bleed to death from the puncture wound. I was going to take this fuck tard apart if I got the chance...

We arrived at the front porch door and I started to bend down.

"Hold it right there Mason! What the hell you think your doing?"

"I've got to get the key to the door, it's right here under that board, see?" I slid the board over with my foot and pointed to the key laying there.

"Ok then, no tricks or I'll cut you long and deep!"

"I get the picture." I squatted down, keeping my head low. Without tuning, I said, "Hey, what's that at your feet?"

"Hu? What is this shit Mason? Looks like a painted line to me."

"Oh, you didn't cross it did you?" I asked as I pushed the button hidden beneath the key...

There was a sudden wisp of sound and a singeing heat flashed over my head as a section in the middle of the front door disintegrated. The blast caught my captor in the midsection neatly slicing him in half.

I stood back up as my friend fell apart, two parts to be exact. Oops... Your contract has been canceled. You crossed the line. The Mason Dixon line... get it asshole?


The following comments are for "What's my line: "The Mason Line""
by The Hal

The challenge
I thought your story was pretty good, but it might be a tad long.

One suggestion for this "Event." I would do on a particular day. Like every thursday or something. That way there is a definitive beginning and end to each "What's my line."

I'll add mine to this probably by Tuesday.

Good work, Hal


( Posted by: Richard Dani [Member] On: January 13, 2002 )

Sounds like fun
Nice story, Hal, and a great idea. I got a couple of lines that I'd like to throw in myself, so if it's all the same to you, I'll join in this little party soon enough. :)


( Posted by: TachyonOne [Member] On: January 13, 2002 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.